Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I don’t know if many people have seen this classic film in which a town is over-taken by pod people. These pod people look just like your loved ones, but they are not. They are aliens who were grown on a pod farm and have replaced your loved ones. I sort of feel like this has happened in my house. I used to have a sweet, adorable daughter. She was so easy going; she loved to play and eat and sleep and nothing really ever upset her. Somewhere in her 17th month of life, I am pretty sure she was replaced by a bizarre look-alike pod-toddler.

The easy going daughter I always bragged about is suddenly gone. Let me explain the difference between my child and this strange invader now inhabiting my house. Maybe this phenomenon is not just happening in my neighborhood, but all of Charlotte? I’m hearing murmurs of other pod-toddlers and I am starting to worry.

I see three major differences between my baby and this pod-toddler:
One – my daughter used to eat. I could slice and serve her any fruit or vegetable, and she smiled and stuffed food into her face with chubby little hands. It was adorable to watch her eat slippery avocado. She loved steamed veggies! Meal time was fun and such an adventure trying new foods and seeing her react with delight to new tastes and textures.

This replacement child screams for “rice” at every meal and refuses almost anything I put on her plate. Veggies are completely off limits; fruit – forget about it! This alien being would live on goldfish and chicken nuggets if allowed.

Two – my daughter was very laid back. I loved to watch her entertain herself and play with her toys. A simple stroll around the neighborhood provided all the adventure she ever needed. We loved to find birds and squirrels and cats and dogs. Our time together was bliss.

I now live with a child who is frustrated at every turn. If she could speak in complete sentences, I think she would spend her day cussing me out and yelling at every toy in the house. I can hear her in my head: “Crayons are evil; this book is making me crazy!! I can’t stand my toys; they are mocking me.” The universe is really hard for this pod-toddler.

Three – my daughter was learning to talk. I pointed at things and said what they were. We loved making the animal noises and pointing out body parts practicing saying them. Learning was an adventure. Now the blossoming vocabulary that I glowed with pride over is gone. One word has replaced them all: NO!!!! No, I don’t want to go for a walk. No I don’t want that to eat; no I don’t want a bath. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This pod-toddler really likes the word no.

The main character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers is driven mad. I am hoping for a happy ending to my story. I just have to get to age three, right?