Sometimes it’s best to be kept in the dark. If someone would have told me every gory detail of motherhood, nothing good would have come of it. First, I wouldn’t have listened. Second, I would want to know why they are bringing me down. When I became a mother, there were changes I expected like breastfeeding will bring you to your knees, the sleep deprivation is way worse and that you will want to smother your husband with a pillow because he is so incompetent/on your nerves/can’t do anything right (that’s the sleep deprivation mixed with new motherhood talking). I had some unexpected surprises that were just plain weird and annoying.
Chicken Feather Hair
My OB was kind enough to warn me that my hair would shed so much post-pregnancy that I’d wonder if I was going bald. So, when the shedding began I only had a mini-freak out. Finding my hair everywhere wasn’t the worst thing about losing it. The hair grew back as lots of little sprouts at my forehead that would stick up. These baby hairs were unresponsive to any goo I used to make them lie down. My new chicken-feather-mini-bangs were so ugly and irritating.
I was very depressed when my breastfeeding boobs deflated waaaaay past their original pre-breastfeeding state. I lost a cup size with each child and it was quite shocking. I was absent the day that God was handing out boobs so there wasn’t much there to begin with. Many of my friends suffer from another ailment called “golf ball in a sock syndrome”. For me, it was more like letting air out of a balloon…a very, very small balloon. No fun. No fair.
I heart a Loser Cruiser. I swore I would never drive one and now I covet it more than any vehicle on the road. I vowed never to be one of “those moms” but I am. I want one baaaaadly…
Smarties, what post-motherhood secrets did all of your mom friends never share with you?