Musings

My inner voice never stops talking and sometimes I wish she would STFU. I have a constantly running conversation with myself.

For the last week I wrote down some of the dippy thoughts that converse inside my head. What follows is the diary of a mad white woman…enjoy this senselessness.

Playdoh is the enemy.

When something is described as “DIY”, do yourself a favor and walk away. You are being setup and failure/frustration will ensue.

Mincing a bucket of shallots should be considered a torture tactic. #wayworsethanonions

Why do $200 jeans go unnoticed and clothes from Walmart garner loads of compliments? There’s a lesson in this.

Pistachios are yuppy crack.

Is my hair breaking off at my forehead or is new hair growing in?

Natural light is a blessing and a curse.

Getting a full body scan at the dermatologist is way more de-moralizing than the annual OB visit.

Wine is the devil’s work.

When you tailor your clothes they always fit better…until you eat a cracker.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Will I eventually cave and take my kids to Disney?

If my husband was my sous chef for a month, he would get the choice jobs: zesting lemons, peeling potatoes, de-stringing snap peas, de-veining shrimp, mincing shallots.

The 50 Shades and Bared to You trilogies have ruined me.  Now, all I want to read is smut. #usedtobeintelligent

Sleep is the best gift ever and it’s free!

The best selection of bathing suits is in February. Cruel.

Pinterest has done more for my creativity and motivation than anything in recent memory.

I have *almost* bought coconut water at the HT on many occasions. Educate me, please?

Do I really need anymore clothes?                                      No.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Am I the only person who hasn’t hopped on the Lululemon train? #victimsofmarketing

When the sheets end up in a giant ball in the dryer, sometimes it makes me want to cry.

Smarty Charlotte, do you smell what I’m cooking? Are you picking up what I’m putting down? What are your musings? Drop some knowledge on me and please share them here or else I am in a focus group of one!