Anyone who has had their identity stolen knows how vulnerable and angry it makes you. It’s an inconvenience contacting the bank, credit cards, etc. – to let them know that that somebody out there in this big world is trying to be you.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing a different kind of identity theft. One that still makes me feel vulnerable and angry at times and often requires explaining to others. I’ve been overtaken with being a mommy. It hit me like a ton of bricks when one day my husband told me that I wasn’t as fun as I once had been. At first it shocked me and made me mad. But he was right. I noticed that I hadn’t been laughing as much, wanting to do as much away from the baby, plain and simple…I wasn’t being my old self.
I’ve come to the realization – I’ll never be the “old me”. I’m super excited about that, because that means I’ve come into something more amazing. Having a daughter has made me a different person, but in a good way. There are certain aspects of my identity that I’m working on reclaiming, as I don’t want to lose myself while being a mama.
Here are some things that I’m going to work on in 2013:
1. Take time for me.
Whether it’s five more minutes in the shower, or putting daddy on baby duty so I can go peruse some shops, I need to make sure I have dedicated “me time.”
2. Take time for us.
About 90% of our conversations revolve around our daughter. It’s time to get back to the roots and spend more time with my husband. Remind him why he fell in love with me and remind myself why I fell in love with him.
3. Take time for friends.
A good group of friends does wonders for the soul. It’s time to get the ladies back together for a night of gab and cab.
Having a baby is tough on your body and emotions. I’ve never been a super-fit person, but do believe that eating right and exercising will help with a positive attitude. It’s time to cut the crap and the fat and get my rear in gear.
5. Read a book.
I used to enjoy reading books. Lately all my books involve Elmo or animals that I can see and feel. Not exactly thrillers. I look forward to recharging my Kindle and my mind a little.
6. Get back to cooking.
Pre-kid, I LOVED to cook and bake. Now I find it difficult to cook for her and us. My daughter has recently started on solid foods, so I’m hoping that I can begin to make one meal that will work for both her and us versus having to cook and puree something for her separately.
I know that these things take initiative and planning. I’m dedicated to making it work and know that in the long run my family will benefit from me reclaiming my identity.
Smarty Mamas – I want to hear from you! Have you experienced identity theft? What are some things that you miss or look forward to getting back in 2013?
Great post, JV! I definitely feel like you slowly get your identity back (well, not back but not so much about the baby) as the kids get older. Babies are all-consuming!! I definitely try to hit all of those points you made (well, except cooking – that’s my goal in the new year too!) during the course of the year – sometimes it’s harder than others!!
Thanks Cheryl! I’m happy to hear it gets easier to regain parts of “me”!
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