It’s official. My kids don’t know the value of a dollar. When I untaped her Christmas List from her bedroom wall, she chased after me saying “Hey, where are you going with that? I’m not done!!!!!!” Ummmm…yeah, you are…
1. blonde puppy (Yep, she means a real puppy because two of our neighbors recently got them. Nope, we ain’t getting one. We’ve got a dog.)
2. grow-a-frog kit (I’ll file this in the same folder as bunny, guinea pig, hamster, turtle, ferret – yes, I said ferret, puppy, chicken, and kitten. Look for it under N for NO.)
3. mermaid tail (I sure hope this isn’t for real because if so, WTH?)
4. safe (Of course! She needs a secure place to keep her valuables like her Rainbow Loom bracelets and rocks collected from gravel parking lots.)
5. triple walkie talkie set (How many D batteries does this thing take?? I can already hear the fights that will unfold when little bro doesn’t follow walkie talkie etiquette and just keeps his finger pressed on the talk button and won’t let her get a word in…fight, fight, fight…and then in a fit of rage, I will snatch them out of their hands and pitch them in the recycle bin. I can see the future. Who wants a juice box?)
6. mini claw (My people are obsessed with the claw game usually found at gas stations and Walmart.)
7. Slackline (Trampolines are out, people. It’s all about slacklines and ziplines…in your backyard. No, but thanks for asking.)
8. rock tumbler (What? Now the rocks in gravel parking lots aren’t good enough and you have to put them in a tumbler to make them smooth?)
9. crystal growing kit
10. pottery kit
11. snow globe kit (Enough with the kits already.)
12.Hello Kitty cotton candy making kit (No, no, no. Not in a million years. No.)
13. door bell for my room (Because you have so many visitors??)
14. lava lamp
15. sleeping bag
16. waterproof camera
17. fort anywhere kit (Um, hello? What’s wrong with v.1 – the poor man’s fort?)
18. Animal Jam membership (Why? So you can continue to type in my email address on screens that ask for it so I can continue to get spammed to high heaven?)
Smarties, I just gotta know. Are your kids reasonable when it comes to their Christmas List? Do you give them a budget? Please.help.me. Please.
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