With so many Smarties returning their kiddos to school this week, we thought it was the perfect time to turn to our Smarty Kiara Harlow, mother of three young boys, for some great advice on how to get your children back into the night time routine for school. She has a way of making everything fun, even bedtime parenting! Read on for details of how she got her boys bedtime ready when they started school a week or so ago!
By Kiara Harlow
I’m not sure if it’s just my kids who resist their earlier bedtime as school begins, but this week has been a DRAMA! Having to adjust to a new schedule, making friends, and missing nap has put my normally-chill crew quite on edge. As he began to melt down, my intuitive 4 year old told me that “the day is too hard, and I just need soft.”
His heartfelt admission stopped me in my tracks. I was reminded that maybe my kids need softness just as much as I do. Maybe “self-care” isn’t just for adults. But what’s the child equivalent of a late-night swim or a glass of wine? How do you create a spa environment for kids? And do they respond to the spa with as much relaxation as I do? I don’t know, but I figure they can’t hate my favorite things. So here goes nothing!
I’ll tell you what I’m trying and I think is working, based on three very scientific predictors: 1) less complaining 2) fewer water/hug/lovey requests before sleep 3) shorter time between shower and sleep.
Step 1: Set the Mood with Music
For us, this means yelling “Alexa, play meditation music” as we barrel up the stairs. Something about gongs and windchimes makes them lower their voices and relax with the incessant, boisterous laughter that seems to follow my kids everywhere.
Step 2: Soft Lighting
I turn off all the overhead lighting and rely on lamp light in their bedrooms and bathrooms. The Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology found that soft, warm lighting supports relaxation and helps stabilize children’s nervous systems. And while I’m now almost 18 twice over, I have to admit it has the same effect on me! Happy wife, happy life. Calm bath, no wrath??
Step 3: Deep Pressure
I used to swear by infant massage when the boys were little. I’m not really sure when that stopped, but we’ve taken it back up. During our bedtime story, the non-reading parent applies deep pressure to each of the boys. We wrap them in a weighted blanket and give them each a minute-long hug. Then it’s off to bed!
Step 4: Turndown Service
They “make” their beds every morning with varying degrees of success. But each night I tidy their beds and turn down their sheets so they’re ready to be tucked in.
Step 5: Last Words
Each of them gets to tell or ask me three things before lights out. It’s a chance to clear their hearts and minds before they close their eyes. And somehow having a limit to the conversation makes them more thoughtful about what they ask, instead of using it as a stall tactic.
So the gist of the story is that kids like a spa day just as much as adults. And while I don’t expect to do this forever (lest I ruin them for the future), it’s nice for times of transition—first week of school, going through a growth spurt, having a tough day. It’s a useful tool to have in your back pocket to make bedtime a little easier on everybody. Give it a try and let me know how it works.
