Ever run across something on Instagram that stops you cold? That’s what Paige Koser’s post did for me this week about the importance of being present for the first 10 years of your child’s life, especially. As a mom of a 7-year-old and 5-year-old twins, it was a total wake-up call.
Yes being present is something we all talk about and strive to do, but it is not easy in the actual moment, when you have dirty dishes to clean, clothes to put away, e-mails and deadlines to meet. But read the intro posted by this mother of three in Florida and then her tips for how to be more present. I know I’m glad I read them and will re-read them until I have them permanently in my head.
– Smarty Carroll
By Paige Koser
For 10 years, you are your child’s favorite…..
… person in the world, as a father, as a mother. And after that they have new favorite people in the world. They have best friends, they have girlfriends, boyfriends, they get married, you’re never ever going to be that person again.
And so really what it is, is it’s a call to arms to be there and appreciate and embrace those 10 years, to stop living that deferred happiness plan where you say, like, “Well, I’m going to work really hard now so that I can be happy when I’m 40 or 50.”
Because when you’re 40, or 50, they’re not going to be 3 years old anymore. They’re going to be 13 and have best friends and not want to hang out with you. They’re actually not going to think you’re cool anymore. And so my whole mantra since he’s been born has been I want to be super, super present for 10 years.
1. Set aside dedicated time
Allocate specific periods each day when you focus solely on your children. During this time, avoid distractions like phones, work-related tasks, or other obligations.
2. Active listening
Practice active listening when your child speaks to you. Maintain eye contact, nod your head, and respond genuinely to what they are saying.
3. Limit distractions
Minimize distractions during family time. Turn off the TV, put away electronic devices, and create an environment that allows you to engage fully with your children without interruptions.
4. Engage in activities together
Participate in activities that you and your children enjoy. Play games, read books, go for walks, cook together, or engage in hobbies that interest both of you. Sharing experiences strengthens the bond between you.
5. Be mindful of the present moment
Focus on the here and now. Notice the details of your child’s expressions, gestures, and words, and be fully engaged in the present interaction.
6. Practice patience and empathy
Be patient with them, even when they make mistakes. Try to empathize with their feelings and perspective to build trust and support their emotional development.
7. Create routines
Establish regular routines that allow for quality time together. For example, designate a specific time for meals, bedtime stories, or family outings. These consistent rituals promote a sense of togetherness.
Paige Koser lives in Tarpon Springs, Fla. with her husband Eric, and children Brooks (4), Crew (2) and Oakley (10 months). She and her husband are business owners who homeschool, take turns working and staying at home with their children and love to bring the whole family along on business trips. You can follow Paige on Instagram @paisekoser.
