If I knew then…
Life is a crazy whirlwind of people, emotions, memories, places, events…the list could go on forever. Now, add a new HUMAN to that list. LIFE. JUST. GOT. REAL. I mean, even more real than it was before. Now, you’re responsible for a HUMAN. Not a puppy, or a fish, or a pet rock, a human.
First, you grow the human. Then, you birth the human. Feed the human. Clothe the human. Change the tiny human’s diapers every time they pee or poo. Continue to keep the human alive for it’s remaining years. REPEAT. Motherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual…but that doesn’t mean there are zero resources out there.
Sure, you could read a million different books all written from different philosophies of how to parent the “right” way…or you could just find some moms who have lived through the trenches and ask them, “If you knew now what you now know as a mom, what advice would you give to a first time mom?” That’s exactly what I did. I’ve asked some of the mothers/fathers in my tribe the exact question, and here was the response I gathered:
– Remember to be yourself. You are still you. Not just a wife, or a mother or “mommy”. Continue to do the things you love…Even if it’s only for a few minutes a day. Don’t stop being you.
– For a Dad, I’d say don’t be afraid that you’re the only man at the park. Just let the others be jealous you’re a stay at home dad
– Don’t let everyone give you advice or tell you what they think you should do. Everyone has an opinion but at the end of the day…YOU ARE THE MOM!
– It’s okay to say no to visitors. You need time to yourself and to bond with your little one. Also, know that the moments that are trying will pass and if you stress yourself out you will miss the joy in it all and wish you hadn’t stressed yourself out.
– Expect the unexpected!
– If breastfeeding, don’t give up in the first few months. Seek out help from BFing support groups and lactation consultants!
– Don’t be afraid to ask for help!!
– Be the mom you want to be and don’t worry about comparing yourself to other moms. We all rock! Also don’t sweat the small stuff
– Enjoy their every day discoveries. Through their eyes, the everyday is so fun.
– Remember to give yourself grace and to give yourself credit for the hard work and amazing job you’re doing. Also try to keep the Mom guilt in perspective!
– Sleep when she/he sleeps! Don’t feel guilty if there’s a pile of dishes or the house is a mess. Ask for help! People love to help new moms! Lots of skin to skin in those first couple of months, it calms and comforts them. They need a lot of it in the beginning. They are building trust with you.
– Stay calm because they also feed off your emotions. Remember if mommy isn’t happy No one is going to be happy
Although these are ALL wonderful tidbits of wisdom in the “momming” realm, the final piece of advice is my personal favorite. I believe all to often, we begin to doubt ourselves as mothers when we should really remain “in tune” with our bodies, our intuition and our babies. Last, but certainly not least:
Trust your gut, and remember that it won’t be like this for long. Grasp every moment as one for joy and love.
#trustyourself #momsohard #keepitrealmommy #ifiknewthen