Connecting with your kids through shared journaling

We all know journaling provides a cathartic and safe environment to release our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to deepen our relationship with ourselves. But have you thought about your child’s freedom of expression in the same manner? Did you know you can deepen your relationship with your children through writing? Shared journaling gives you another way to intentionally connect with your kids. Writing allows you both the opportunity to work through a problem, explore thoughts, and express feelings without fear.

Addie and I have had a shared journal for a couple of years. She writes to me at night and asks me to write back by leaving the book on my bedside table. Through this exchange, we have fostered a better understanding of one another. She and I can get emotionally charged at times (hello nine), so this forum oftentimes is more effective. She can write and process her thoughts in a calmer manner, and I can read and think about them before I react and vice versa. Reader beware, drama can still be found in a journal in the form of circled and labeled tear drops (apparently my girl’s night out went a little late).

Recently, I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. The book dissects the differences between introverts and extroverts (and is full of applicable info). It made me realize that some of the communication issues Addie and I have are due to my introverted tendencies and her extroversion. My son on the other hand is very similar to me, so we just get one another. Parents and kids who have different personality styles can greatly benefit from shared journaling. While introverts often need to be left alone with their feelings for a while, extroverts tend to let their thoughts flow out rather quickly and colorfully. Journaling allows introverts the quiet space to process their emotions and gives extroverts more time to think about what they want to say before they say it.

Don’t know where to start? Try some of these openers:

What is something you do well?
I am most proud when…
What are you afraid of? Why?
How would you change the world to make it better?
When are you happiest?
Families are important because . . .
Sometimes I feel lonely when…
The career that really interests me is…
When I play sports, I feel…
Sometimes I wish that…
My perfect vacation would be…
Today you made me feel…

Encourage your kids to write whatever is important to them. You can also take turns initiating entires. If you have younger children, suggest drawing pictures along with their writing level. A colorful journal and cool pen fosters additional motivation to write. As a rule, I never make writing in the journal an obligation. The book sits in a place where we both can see it, reminding us to share with one another.

Shared journaling with your kids will strengthen your bond and let them know that they can open up to you about anything. It is amazing what your kids will tell you when you give them a safe space. As an added bonus, you will gain a treasure of written memories and pictures. Additionally, journaling has many health benefits and harnesses creativity!