I’ve spent the last few days getting ready for a little kitchen makeover. We’re not ripping up cabinets, but we’re doing enough to the first floor of the house that I’ve been packing things into boxes (which means I could’ve actually moved half of my household – not sure which half of my kids I would take with me – depends on the day. But, I’m not. We’re ALL staying here and sprucing things up a bit.).
Do you want to find out more about yourself? Do you want to see where your twenties and thirties have gone? Skip the self-help books. All it takes is packing up the first floor of your house to learn EVERYTHING you need to know about yourself. Here’s what I learned:
I’m a borderline hoarder. An oblivious, unorganized hoarder who doesn’t take enough time to just LOOK. The other day my daughter used Duct tape on her friend’s birthday present because I couldn’t, for the life of me, find Scotch tape. But, as I packed everything up, here’s just a sampling of what I found in the depths of my cabinets. This would’ve really come in handy last month…
And, as we got ready to host a big family for Thanksgiving, my husband panicked and bought more dish soap because I said we were all out. But, here’s what I found as I packed up. Huh. How did I not SEE this?! Am I in that much of a rush? Sister needs to SLOW DOWN and smell the dish soap. Obviously.
I gave up after kid #2. I have personalized placemats, cute Easter settings for two kids, monogrammed silver cups, personalized labels…all for just my first two kids. What the heck happened?? I know I love my third and fourth kids just as much, but when did I just stop caring about the cute factor?
I remember a graphic design professor in class first lectured to us that “form follows function.” I clearly cared more about form than function until 2007. Since then, I have no grasp of form. I am purely functional. I am functioning just enough to survive.
I’m not “so fancy” (sorry, Iggy Azaela). My crystal stemware still has the Belk’s price tag on it from when we got married in 2001. Actually, so do all of my fine china coffee cups and saucers. When I registered for these 14 years ago, I saw myself hosting dinner party after dinner party with crystal clinking. But today I only see myself hosting dinner parties with juice boxes and Solo cups (because even wine tastes good in a Solo cup – instant party).
Is this part of the form vs. function thing? I am just not sure. I actually think I don’t use my crystal wine glasses enough because those outdated glasses hold only like four ounces of wine, which is like a sip, so they’re no good. But, my mom pointed out that I could’ve used them for after-dinner cordials. Hmmmm….I really need to step up my game…(fancier) dinner parties are being planned right after renovation….or at least within the next five years.
I have a small army to contain. Maybe this is why I’m not “so fancy.” Maybe this is why the shot-glass sized crystal stemware doesn’t do the trick. I’ve found Nerf bullets EVERYWHERE. They’re like Gremlins. They’re in every nook, cranny, crevice, and Home Goods knickknack in my house. Why don’t they make dissolving Nerf bullets? These peskies are leaving their eco footprint all over my house, and I’ve got enough footprints to clean up over here without finding Styrofoam evidence of my small army in action. I need no physical evidence. I can FEEL the evidence of the army with every shake and tremble of my ceiling on a rainy afternoon.
Coffee cup, water bottle, sharp knives, Pam, a couple of Lara Bars, and a corkscrew. A month of renovations with four kids can surely be managed with this First Aid kit, right? I’ll let you know next month.
Wish me luck, Smarties!