My 2014 New Year’s resolutions – dedicated to my husband

By Smarty Mom Erin Santos
President of the Isabella Santos Foundation

New Year’s resolutions.  What a bunch of crap right?  I don’t know why I bother because they are the same every year.  Be consistent with exercise, drink more water, call my Grandma more, try to repair a friendship… yada yada yada.  By February, I’m over them all because the gym is packed, I’m tired of peeing every 20 minutes and that friendship that drove me crazy – is still driving me crazy.  I will however keep that Grandma one.  She’s a pretty cool cat.

So this year with my 10-year anniversary in the near future, I have decided to dedicate my New Year’s resolutions to my husband.  For those of you who don’t know us, we can be a tough couple to be around.  We have been through more than most couples in a lifetime and think about killing each other in our sleep at least once a week.  Whenever we hear of a couple we know getting divorced, we look at each other and give a shrug as if to say, “How did we make it longer than they did?”  We are both opinionated and outspoken so we can be hilarious to each other at times, but sandpaper on open sores the next day.  Our fights, like most couples are the same things over and over.  So, my goal for this year is to maybe remove one of those fights from our repertoire by accomplishing at least one New Year’s resolution on this list.  Wish me luck.

1. Stop wearing my ugly black and white robe around the house.  It’s so warm and cozy but it makes me look like I’m about 300 pounds.  Comfort level 10.  Attractive level negative 10.  This also applies to my sleeping attire.  PJ bottoms from Old Navy that for some reason I buy 2 sizes too big and an oversized Turkey Trot 5K shirt maybe isn’t putting my best foot forward.

2. Pick the clothes up off my closet floor.  I have a nice, big walk in closet that is organized to the tee.  However, every time a load of laundry is done – it ends up on my floor and I just live through this pile/piles until he is about to explode.  I am also the same on luggage.  Takes me about a month to unpack.  I usually only unpack when he comes in and dumps my luggage on the floor, which drives me crazy.  I again try to live through it.. which leads to the explosion again.

This is on a good day.

3. Pay bills on time.  I don’t know why I don’t do this.  It’s not like I’m waiting for that next check.  I just get lazy with it and like to wait until someone calls to remind me to pay it.  Oops.. yeah, I’ll pay that today before our cable gets turned off.

4. Make our bed in the morning.  My dad was religious about making us do this as a child so as an adult I have rebelled.  I don’t see the need because I’m getting right back in it.  Ugh.  I hate this one.  Waste.  Of.  Time.

5. Stop being late to everything.  Look, I have 2 young kids who drive me bat sh*% crazy and it’s like herding cats.  This one might be on them.

6. Sign up for a race and actually do it.  This is my favorite.  I love to sign up for 10K’s or other races and then not really properly train for them and then bail that morning because it’s too cold.  Heehee.. drives him mad.  But as you can see, I happily wear the shirt I got to bed at night.  I am just a cruel person.

7. Try to write a book.  We have had some loud Sh*% happen in our life that I have done a “little” chronicling to.  Everyone says I should write a book about it but I put it off.  Mainly out of fear of failure.  It’s maybe the one thing in my life he wishes I would do tomorrow.  Alright, alright, alright…  In 2014, I will do it.  (Yikes!)

8. Sex.  I’m not even sure what to put on this one.  We are all in the same boat.  They want it morning, noon and night.  They want it when we are all sweaty from a run, hacking up a lung with a cold, while my parents are asleep in the next room.  I on the other hand enjoy it when I’m totally fresh from a shower and smelling yummy, maybe after a glass of wine or two and then kids are nowhere in our house.  There must be a compromise.  Right?  He will also want this to be the ONLY New Year’s resolution.  He would let me live like a damn slob as long as he got some nookie every day.

9. Appreciate him more.  I think this is what all men want right?  Tell them they are good people, tell them they are good fathers, good providers, sexy.. whatever.  My guy likes verbal confirmation that his existence is appreciated.  This shouldn’t be hard to do once a day.  (Crossing my fingers)

10. Try to accept his criticism or opinions.  This is brutal for me.  I find that when he gives his opinion I am mentally stabbing him with knives or thinking about what I need to pick up at Target while he is talking.  No one knows better than me about how to handle obstacles in my life and if he would just learn that I want to vent and not have him fix things, we would live happier lives.  Okay… obviously I’m sick in the head.  This one is definitely on the list.

So I find myself reading over this list now that it’s on paper.  This list sucks the big one.  None of these are that hard really.  Except the book writing.  I “should” be able to do all of these in 2014.  It’s not like one of them is about building a house from scratch by hand or fixing Miley Cyrus.   Then why are these so hard?  Am I really at the point in my life that I’m so set in my ways that these things are impossible to change? Scary to think that something about yourself that you KNOW drives your partner INSANE is not capable of changing.  Needless to say, January is going to be a tough month for me.  I’m hoping Harris Teeter has a special on wine.  Wish me luck.