Man oh man. When I became a momma, I didn’t know I’d join the Mafia…the Milestone Mafia. I tracked each one and fretted about lots of them like my kid wasn’t going to get into college if he was not doing X, Y or Z.
The road to walking, talking, sleeping, eating, pottying,etc. is bumpy and super stressful if you ask me. There is no shortage of publications, strangers, neighbors to tell you if your child is a genius (peaked early) or behind their peers (waiting to peak when it counts).
The 0-3 year milestones are so booooring to me now that I have some perspective. If I knew all of the good times that were yet to come in the milestone department, then I wouldn’t have sweated it. So go ahead and make peace with the paci! The best is yet to come!
These lesser-written-about milestones really deserve a fist pump and a hells yeah. They allow me to sit down and have a hot second to myself and this makes me want to hug everyone’s necks.
(1) When they can perform the paci self plug-in. This just about changed my life when my kids were babies and I stopped wearing out the hall carpet every time the dang thing fell out. Nightmare.
(2) When they can swim in any area of the pool without constant supervision. This means I don’t have to get in the pool. Suddenly, I love the pool and want to go everyday and pretty much do.
(3) When they can wear a puddle jumper. This means I don’t have to get in the pool, ever. I hope the puddle jumper peeps are gazillionares. They deserve it. Thank you, puddle jumper peeps!
(4) When they can pump their legs on the swing. This was a game changer in our house. I don’t even have to step off the back deck…the kids swinging themselves while momma enjoys wine and a celebrity gossip rag – everyone is having fun enjoying the outdoors.
(5) When they can tie their shoes. At some point, you gotta break-up with velcro, people. Break-ups are painful which is why I’m always hollerin’ “Tie your shoes! TieYourShoes! TIE.YOUR.SHOES.” No pain. No gain.
(6) When they can put themselves to bed (they can read) and put their sibling to bed (they can read to them). See y’all tomorrow. Night night.
(7) When they can get into the Loser Cruiser by themselves AND buckle in. Bliss.
(8) When they become capitalists. Why is it important for kids to learn about money and start asking what they can do to earn some? So they can do chores you don’t want to do like picking up the dog poop in the backyard. Everybody wins.
(9) When they both can go to the same camp, same place, same time! A little slice of heaven!
(10) When they can go into the indoor Chic-Fil-A playground alone. Three cheers for not having to step foot into that nasty hell hole and being on the other side of the glass…just like watching animals at the zoo.
(11) When they can turn on the TV and/or setup the Wii. I don’t want to get up early on the weekends so go catch up on the idiot box or get into a fight with your sibling over who had first man on the last Wii game. I.don’t.care. Zzzzzzzz.
Lemme hear from you! What milestones are you crushing on, Smarties? Oh and I’m not the only one in Smartyland who is loving these rays of glorious sunshine. Check out my girl Krista’s Smarty post on milestones from earlier this year. Happy, happy, happy!