Mommy, that a new purse? You buy that?
Shhhhhh….yes, but sweetheart, don’t tell your daddy.
Sound familiar? It does? Good, because that’s an exact quote from a conversation my two-year-old and I had the other day (let it be noted that I used my “own” money for that (awesome) new purse! Guess he knows now, right?. :-)).
Have you ever tried to keep your kids’ mouths shut about a secret you have from your spouse, your friends, your parents? Not easy right? I’ve told my kids time and time again to tell the truth, but then on occasion I’ve also asked them to keep a secret.
It’s not always possible with toddlers, but what about older kids? How do you get around that sticky grey area between being honest and also learning to be trustworthy? Yea, I haven’t figured it out either.
OK, here’s another example: a friend of mine (I’m not naming any names, but her last name rhymes with Wusby), recently spilled a teensy weensy bit of nail polish remover on a brand new kitchen table. It was the kind of flub that demanded professional help. She didn’t feel like fessing up to her hubby, but the kids knew what had happened because, well, they always know what’s going on (even if we think they don’t). Ms. Wusby quietly got that table fixed, thought she was in the clear, then heard her daughter spilling the secret to her daddy.
What’s a girl to do? She can’t outwardly get mad at her daughter for telling the truth, but, she can inwardly be furious she spilled the beans, right? There’s no recourse for a kid being a blabber-mouth when she’s telling the truth. I guess the only thing a girl can do is text her friend an SOS message, laugh it off in front of the kids, and hope for the best with the hubby.
It’s one of the pitfalls of being a mom. We have no secrets left. Even if we do something when the kids are in school (ie – buy a new purse), the kids will notice. Even if we swear under our breath, the kids will notice. Even if we lie about our age, the kids will notice.
They’ll notice, and they’ll blab.
That’s a new purse!
You said the F bad word!
I thought you were born in 1977, Mommy? You’re not 32!
Just like the OB/GYN exam it took to get them here, everything is an open book with kids.
Oh, here’s another example: the “About My Mommy” Mother’s Day questionnaires. Why do teachers ask kids to guess their mom’s age and weight? It’s painfully obvious that as we’re all gathered around the classroom, we’re not eating the pre-packaged ”Muffins for Moms” muffins and we’re all sucking in trying to look our skinniest. After all that deprivation and hardwork, we get to browse each other’s “bio” – one year my daughter was so dead-on with my weight, it got her into trouble.
NEVER put Mommy’s actual weight on a questionnaire!! ALWAYS round down!
(Not that weight matters, of course, honey. It’s just a number!)
I mean seriously, is nothing sacred?! I guess they’ll learn to keep secrets eventually, but not before every fiber of our being is revealed. I guess our payback comes when they start keeping diaries. I see a little bribery up ahead….
Have you ever tried to make your kids keep a secret? What’s your worst offense and how were you exposed?