Recently, I shared with y’all the musings inside my head that run on a neverending loop. If you missed my first musings post in January, then back it on up and take a peek.
I can’t make this inner-voice-gal stop. She wants to be heard! She has more opinions than she’s qualified to give and more questions than answers. Jump on the hamster wheel with me and let’s waste some time!
Use your turn signal. I can’t read your mind.
Why are they called “abs”? I have one ab.
We put a man on the moon and can’t find a cure for the common hangover? What kind of country is this America?
My highest and best use is to be an interior designer for fridges (a pack of idiots currently has this job) or dishwashers (same pack of idiots). James Dyson: holla back, please. Need your help.
Why does it always taste better when someone else cooks it?
Am I depressed? Is this PMS? What is it?
I just don’t think it should cost over $4000 to take your family to the beach for a week in the summer. I just don’t.
If the outside temp starts with a 3, I’m a no-call-no-show for the run. No need to check to see if I’m okay. I ain’t coming.
When you learn, teach. When you get, give.
Most days I feel like I ate a big bowl of stupid.
Dear Mrs. Teacher,
Stop assigning projects that are way too hard for the kids to complete. My husband and I have plenty to fight about. Aaaaaaannnnnndddd, we both completed elementary school, thankyouverymuch. Do me a solid and change our status to “opt out” for all future projects. Preesh.
Why is my fridge always overflowing yet there’s never anything to eat?
Ozzy knows best: I’m going off the rails on a crazy train. That’s about right.
When did my face get so furry?
Status updates on facebook need a forced character limit. Hook it up, Zuckerburg.
I have country club envy. I’m not proud of it.
I have some good ideas for opening a business. My first will be called “Pin’yuns, Inc.”. Get your free opinions here. No subject too taboo. No limit on number. How will I make money? How does Pinterest make money?
I’m still mad at my sister for stealing my baby name.
It doesn’t matter how smart you are. If you can’t communicate effectively then you’re a dolt.
My kitchen chairs need seatbelts. One more pop-up at dinner and errbody’s going to bed, dammit, even if it is only 5:30PM.
Can I get a pair of pants that sit at the natural waist, please? Enough is enough.
Okay, Smarties. I’m dismounting from my high horse now. Anything you want to “ask” of the universe? Any of these get a “hell yeah”? Giddy up and let me hear from you!