I am not ashamed to say it.
My husband and I have 4 children aged 8 and under. Spirited (that’s code for “sometimes ill behaved”), wild, high energy children. My husband travels a lot for work so I am more than occasionally a single mom. My family is easily recognizable (2 of my children were born in Ethiopia and the other 2 have red hair) around town and people often stop me and say, “I just don’t know how you do it. You’re amazing!” I smile and say a sweet thank you, but if I was being honest, I would just say I don’t do it. I really don’t do it.
My house is a mess approximately 70 percent of the time. There is laundry piled to the ceiling 3 out of 5 weekdays and the sink almost always has dishes in it waiting for their turn to be sent to the dishwasher. My kids are having a great week if their beds are made even twice and their bathroom has blue toothpaste all over the sink most of the time. I cook “real” meals maybe 2 or 3 times a week for dinner. The other nights are leftovers or chicken fingers or hot dogs or frozen waffles. I make my Kindergartener and second grader make their own lunches (gasp!) because I don’t want to do it anymore. My 4 year old son spent 30 minutes in Snip-its alternately screaming at the stylist that she was the “worst hair cutter in the world” and telling me that he was “going to kick my face off”. Did I mention that I am a therapist for children? Those moments feel especially good. Sometimes I even forget to pay a bill.
Here’s my point. I think that a lot of us have similar tales to tell. It is just that some of us are ashamed to tell them. The Facebook and Pinterest revolutions have created a standard that is impossible for most mere mortals to attain. We all have ‘friends” on Facebook who are updating their wall with statuses that rival the likes of Mother Teresa. With all of the amazing DIY and craft projects and recipes and home photos streaming over Pinterest every day, it’s hard not to wonder if we are the only ones who feel lucky when our day consists of a matching outfit plus clean hair, clean laundry actually put away and an empty kitchen sink at bedtime.
Let’s not wonder. Let’s not be ashamed.
Let’s be real.
The next time someone asks me how I do it all, I think I’ll simply say, “I don’t, but it’s enough.”
7 comments
So true! I like my reality much better than some unrealistic fantasy. Sometimes my husband will complain about the mess of toys all over the house and I tell him, “That is because they are children and they played and had fun, someday they will be gone and this house will be the most boring, sterile place and you will miss this mess.”
I’m right there with you. We really have so many wonderful times when everything goes well and we learn so much. Then, we’ll have a day when I can’t seem to get anyone to listen and feel like I yell all day long! Thanks for busting the facebook/pinterest myth.
Love it! Let the truth be told, my friend 😉
Great message, Kelley. . .Fantastic article in Charlotte magazine this month with a similar theme which is worth a read!
Love this. So true and glad I’m not the only one thinking it.
amen
I never, ever leave comments so this shows how strongly I feel about your blog. I also live the life of 4 kids in the house and must also throw in a husband, a Doberman & the fact I work full time. So in the spirit of misery loves company it’s comforting to know that someone else recognizes the unrealistic images and ideals coming forth from social media. I figure if the main thing suffering in all of this high energy fun is my house, well that’s ok with me. Nice to meet you Kelley, my name is Connie and my life is crazy too! 😉