Ever tried taking candy from a baby? I have and own the mental scars to prove it. Lollipops keep my 17 month old twins quiet.
Yes, I give my 17 month old twins lollipops.
Yes, I know it is ridiculous.
Yes, I know its bad for their teeth.
It keeps them calm for 5 entire minutes . . . so stop judging.
In an extreme case of tiny tot meltdowns, I thought I’d be brilliant and hand my twins lollipops while pushing my 200 pound stroller and 50 pound diaper bag to my car. The twins were starting to lose it and people were starting to stare.
It had already been a day. Quite honestly, I’d lost all control I had over them around 8:00 that morning. At breakfast we had a sippy cup “incident” and I can’t go into details because my lawyers have advised me otherwise.
I digress . . .
So, as I made my way to the parking lot with the twins holding their pops in tight kung fu fists, I realized letting them lick lollipops in car seats is probably the worst idea in the world. Possible worse than a trip to Monkey Joe’s on a rainy Saturday. So, I calmly explained to them it was time to let go of the candy and get in the car. I pulled at the pops. They fought back with unwavering tenacity. I finally got one twin to release their “jaws of life” hold. Seconds later the parking lot was filled with a scream so loud I lost hearing. Moms looked at me in disgust, children started to hide, old women sent me evil glares. I panicked and shoved those two babies in their car seats. As I peeled out of the parking lot, I stared at my rearview mirror at the two precious angels sucking their candy.
They had won, again. I drove in silence sending a curse to the foolish father who created the stupid saying, “Like taking candy from a baby”.
How do I know it must have been a father? Easily, because much like changing a dirty diaper, they had obviously never tried it.