Why is your 40th birthday an occasion that calls for friends to put black balloons and headstones in your yard? Is this actually the death of my youth? Am I going to wake up on that day and have a full head of grey hair, put on my pajama jeans and head to Denny’s for my free grand slam breakfast and discuss how awesome my AARP membership is going to be? NO. No way. I say BRING it on.
Why would I want to be in my twenties again? Sure having my pre-baby body would be nice. I wouldn’t keep grabbing my midsection and joking that I was some new type of marsupial with my “pouch”. Not having any wrinkles would be amazing. Yes, planning your wedding is exciting. Starting that new job, traveling, and buying your first house are all milestones that you looked forward to. College was great. Do you even remember when all your earthly belongings could fit in the back of a Honda Civic hatchback?
But I bet if you really think back you will remember all the not so great stuff too. First is Dating. Yuck. Having to meet and go out with all those men just so you could find the right one. Remember sitting across the table from a horrible date at dinner just wishing it would be over with. Remember getting dumped or being the dumper. Awful. How about how insecure you were with yourself. You were beautiful and not a wrinkle on your face but you were still so tuff on yourself in the mirror. Starting a new job and being the lowest one on the totem pole. Doing all the scut work. Being so broke you couldn’t afford a sandwich. You actually bought and enjoyed Ramen noodles. Staying up all night with a newborn isn’t actually a good time either. I see all the “older” moms leaving the Y in the morning. They look pretty darn well rested to me.
As I approach my 40th birthday I will miss a few things from my youth but not much. Getting older is a gift. You are allowed to say NO to whomever and whatever you want. I don’t care if you are impressed by me or not. I will walk around for weeks at a time with not a lick of makeup on my face. I will not shower until the end of the day. I will not wear shoes that are uncomfortable. I will probably offend you in someway because I am not censoring every little thing that I say. I will laugh at myself the loudest. I will laugh at you. Hopefully we will all be laughing together. I will have confidence in myself that can only be achieved through time. Years of second-guessing myself are done. I will dare to try new things. I will make new friends.
I am sure some one in their twenties will read this and think that I am just jealous and I would trade this for being 25 again. Think again ladies. I plan to go out laughing and having a great time. I will regret nothing.
What are you most looking forward to as you age?
Love that this blog is up the day after your big surprise! Love all of your forty year old self!
I saved this one first knowing her big bday plans:-) Happy, happy forty to you, girlfriend!!
So true on all of it. The confidence we gain as we age is such a treat. I only wish I had one tiny bit of it in my twenties – imagine what I could have accomplished!!
Wendy, This is absolutely brillz! Having the wisdom, confidence and IDGAF attitude of my late 30’s while looking like I did in my 20’s would be too much to ask…
“I will laugh at myself the loudest. I will laugh at you. Hopefully we will all be laughing together.” LOVE this. Love your ‘bring it’ attitude. Hope to have the same in a few months!
Love this Wendy!!!
Isn’t it funny how the older you get, you learn to love your girlfriends more.
Great blog!! Empowering! Thanks for sharing and happy happy birthday!
While I can appreciate the sentiment of this blog, I have to say you missed the mark by assuming that every 40 year old woman is in the same place as you. Yes, hopefully her confidence is stronger than her 23 year old self, but there are PLENTY of 30- and 40-somethings who are not yet done with dating, who are still trying to find the right one (or find the right one again). And these women will someday be those older moms at the Y … with newborns. There are also plenty of people starting new jobs, having to start over and do the “scut work” because the economy tanked. All the things you are thankful to have gotten over with in your 20’s are still on the horizon for many in their 30’s and 40’s – still looking forward to planning a wedding and buying their first home. It’s very disheartening to read a blog that basically says 40 is fabulous because you have the husband, kids, and career figured out, which is the oppoosite of what I believe you intended.