I recently found a fabulous new time waster, pleasefireme.com. When the stress and frustration at my Corporate America job make me crazy I have to find a way to laugh. I live for finding the humor in the inane actions of my colleagues. Because if you don’t laugh, you might just cry. Pleasefireme.com is a place where you can share those Mickey-Mouse-nonsense office moments and read about the silliness happening at everyone else’s office. Here are some life-is-unfair-no-self-awareness-power-trippin’ moments I’ve witnessed at work that made me want to say Pleasefireme.com. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Pleasefireme.com – Where we are reminded of the unfairness of it all! Jack announces in a meeting that Jim is not here because he left to tend to a sick child and applauds Jim as a dedicated father who is always there for his kids. Fast forward to the following week. Jack announces that Lisa will not be giving her presentation today because she left to retrieve her sick child from daycare. You can hear the murmurs of “child always getting in the way” and “what kind of mother is she that her kids are always sick?” Lisa has NEVER left work to tend to a sick child (her inlaws were out of town and they typically help). Jim is constantly leaving to attend a baseball game, pickup child from school, etc. etc. The world swoons over a man who is family centered but a woman is labeled as a lazy slack@$$, undedicated to her job and in desperate need of getting her priorities straight.
Pleasefireme.com – Where we are reminded of self awareness or lack thereof. Michelle is the leader of a team of 17 people and is late for the weekly team meeting. She calls her assistant who informs us that Michelle is running late. Big shocker because Michelle is at least 20 minutes late every week. Michelle finally arrives 30 minutes after meeting start time. She kicks off the meeting (no agenda, no apologies for being late) and then proceeds to unpack her manicure set…cuticle cream, orange stick, nail file, 2 bottles of nail polish (color and top coat, duh), nail polish remover. A full on self-manicure follows and we all nearly asphyxiate from the fumes.
Pleasefireme.com – Where we are reminded that Miranda Priestly in “Devil Wears Prada” is real. Christine is leading a meeting of 20 people. The meeting starts at 1PM and Christine brings her lunch into the meeting. While facilitating and running the meeting, she is eating her very large chicken caesar salad that is overflowing onto the conference room table and talking with her mouth full of food, which causes food particles to spew on those sitting next to her. Suddenly, Christine bangs her fist on the table in the middle of someone’s presentation and says “This salad is full of lettuce stems.” She calls her assistant (on speaker phone) and tells her to immediately report to the conference room. Jan dutifully arrives. Christine says “This is not edible. Get me a new salad with no lettuce stems. Also, while I have you, finish cleaning my office before this meeting ends because I have a lot of work to do and can’t be interrupted. Did my husband call yet? Tell him to stop by the grocery store. I will text you the list in a minute.”
Smarties, have you experienced any “take-this-job-and-shove-it-I-ain’t-workin-here-no-more” moments?