I’ve decided there is nothing worse as a parent then picking up your child from daycare and getting served the dreaded “incident report”. OK … maybe I’m exaggerating, but for the last week, I’ve been crossing my fingers every day before opening the door to Ryanne’s toddler room. Usually an incident report means that your child was injured in some, usually very minor way that day at school. But in our case, it’s that our child has done the injuring – as in biting, chomp chomp, on her little friend’s arm.
When Jake was this age, we also had an issue with biting, only that time, he was the victim. I remember having it out with the teacher one day,
“Why does this keep happening?”
“Is he the instigator or just a sweet innocent bystander?”
“What are you doing to stop this?”
“Why aren’t you watching the children more closely??”
The teachers even gave me some papers to help “understand” the issue. But that only angered me more as the papers only addressed what to do if you had a biter – not if your child was the one getting bitten. Wish I had saved those papers now ….
I am here to tell – having been on both sides of the fence, I actually think it is worse having the biter! Everyone tells me “it’s normal” and Super Nanny even says one in four do it … but WOW – it is awful when it’s your child doing the biting!!
So, to address my helpless feeling and wanting to somehow correct the problem, I did a little research. Here’s a couple of tips if you share my situation:
* Figure out what’s causing the biting. In our case it was the EIGHT teeth she has coming in … those molars and i-teeth are brutal! So we made sure she had plenty of pacies and teething rings at school that she could nibble on instead. I also gave her some Motrin in the morning to relieve some of the throbbing pressure. That seemed to help a lot.
* If the child is biting out of frustration or in defense, the best course of action is to keep a close eye on them, look for patterns, and remove them from a situation before the devastating chomp occurs … easier said than done for sure!
* Let your child know that its wrong by firmly telling them no and that biting hurts! And of course, never bite them back — it amazes me that people actually think that’s okay!
I am happy to report that one week and counting, we have not had any more reports of biting – a couple of near misses, but I think her teachers are watching her like a hawk! And to some poor mom out there, if your child has recently been bitten and is in Ryanne’s class, I AM SOO SORRY!!! (daycare’s never disclose which children were impacted) I’ve been in your shoes as well and know how much it stinks.
Been through this yourself? Please share your story and what you did about it!
12 comments
Preach it sister. It is an awefull feeling as I wait in the preschool line with my heart pounding to find out what type of day my son has had. Whenever something happens to my children, I'm so relieved it wasn't my child being the instigator, that I have no ill feelings toward the child or parents!
Oh, I so know what you mean! Never easy either way, but I agree that it is worse when your child does the instigating. Especially when you have a sweet child otherwise.
What a timely post! We had our first "incident report" this week and my son was the offender. I was MORTIFIED. I hope if was just because he was not feeling well (had to pick him up early that day). I felt terrible for the other child!
My son went through the biting stage (he was the biter) for almost 9 months. I thought it would never end!! It was miserable – I think one whole tree (perhaps a forest) was used on the "incident reports" that I received. And yes, I got multiple reports in one day (I think 5 was the record – yikes!).So imagine the day when I got the report that he was bitten! Was it bad that I jumped for joy that he was actually given a taste of his own medicine?! :)Luckily, the biting stage waned and moved into the "not listening" stage…Oh, the joys of motherhood! :)Great post!
My boys were the only biters and luckily, they kept it as a twin bonding thing and only bit each other. But I swear, they had forensic-evidence type bites – you could see every tooth, top and bottom on the recipient's bite wound!!
Great post! My son was the biter for several months… it was horrifying picking him up from preschool. It is now 6 months later and I still dread picking him up!
Thank you all for chiming in! Makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone!! It's just crazy, because normally she is the sweetest little thing, but I guess those teeth coming in can really wreak havoc on a little one. I know this too shall pass, and in the mean time, I'll be watching her like a hawk!
I've, too, been on both sides, and I agree, it is worse being the 'biter'!!! UGH.
I hate the incident reports. Ours have Blue tape on them and I can't stand to see that blue tape. Max has started chomping on everything so thanks for the tip – I think I have a biter!!
I had the same experience as Jen P. Biting, but only the other twin…but the evidence was like a dental mold. Full on set of teeth and they would bruise. Finally, I went old school on the issue and started washing their mouth out with soap. I know that many of you may disagree with this method and I have read the literature on this, but I assure you it worked instantly. (and I researched the soap you should use that is less harsh). It's not for everyone, but it worked for us.
Yikes! That's a big ouchie. "Happily", my 5 year old bites us no one else. Wonder if her gums are itching and growing permanent teeth? Any thoughts?Maricrishttp://zenforyou.dalefg.net@MaricrisG
We went thru this for almost a year and a half. The other parents got so upset at daycare they asked us to leave. I use to cry at night and just sit in his room wondering what was wrong and why we could not stop it or help him. We had him tested for sensory disorders and everything! Nothing came out of it. Other parents look at you and your child like you are horrible people whether it was at daycare or when we would be at the park. One day, it just finally stopped. Unfortunately for us there was no rhyme or reason. Some things we did were consistency with time out and if needed to leaving a play date as he got older, keeping teethers around, motrin, the book Teeth are not for biting, positive rewards on good days and so on. I so feel for any parent who goes thru this. Just know in your heart you are still a good parent and you have a good child. It will pass 🙂