Ever since I had my first baby I have been so curious on other couples’ points of view on how many children they want to have. Some of my friends knew from the beginning that they absolutely wanted two while others were hestitant to commit to having a second child. And then I have my friends who have split opinions. Some moms want to go for number three and the husbands are happy with two, and other friends where the husband is the one who is ready. It seems to be that everyone has a different idea of the perfect family unit.
This week we are excited to write a series of entries regarding our perspectives on having children and when to call it quits. Each of us will provide our personal choice and how we came to it. It should be interesting, so stay tuned all week.
As for Brent and I, we were so blessed to get pregnant the first time immediately. So easily that I was completely paranoid that we would get pregnant again by accident or too quickly. How wrong I was, it ended up taking us twleve months to get pregnant the second time. Then it finally happened. And all of our friends started to ask us if this was it – were we done after our second? Neither one of us could commit either way. We always answered “maybe”. To which our experienced friends responded, “if you aren’t positive that you are done, you’ll definitely have another.”
Then the day finally arrived that Annie was born. I remember how excited I was during her delivery (after my epidural, of course). When the doctor handed her to me, my first thought was, “this is not the last time I am going to do this.” It could have been my newborn baby bliss or a sign that we were meant to have three.
We’ll just have to see…..
Does anyone have insight or advice on deciding whether to go for three or not?
9 comments
Kids are wonderful! Do what works out best for your family. Only you and your husband can make this decision. I was one of 3 girls growing up and I was the “middle child.” I always felt left out b/c I wasn’t the first born, or the baby. I always swore to my mother that I would never have 3 kids b/c of how I felt growing up. Of course she just laughs at me now when I tell her that. My husband came from a family of 4 boys. He somewhat experienced the same feelings that I did, always fighting for his parents attention. Things worked out great for his family until all 4 boys went to college around the same time and it put financial strain on their family. We currently have 1 child (a son) and my husband and I would love to have a 2nd child. We are both in agreement on having 2 children b/c of finances with colleges, weddings, etc. It’s hard to predict your future financial situation b/c things can change in the blink of an eye. Also putting finances aside, since we both came from large families and fought for our parents undivided attention growing up, we feel that 2 children would be ideal for us.Do what you and your husband feel in your hearts are right for your family. Children are blessings!
What a great idea for today’s blog! I look forward to reading the postings the rest of this week. My husband and I have a girl and a boy, with our youngest (daughter) being 6 months old. We always said we would be done if we had one of each, but we are not ready to commit and our daughter has been a dream (for now!) :)Conversly to the post, my OB said when people are on the fence of 2 vs. 3, they seem to stop at 2. So, I am interested to see what others have to say on this. We too are concerned about finances; public vs. private schools, vacations, mini van vs. SUV, extra curricular activities, etc. Mostly practical stuff! I came from a family of 2 and my husband is from a family of 3 and I work, if that helps you give me any advice?!
We have a 16 month old daughter and right now, we’re happy with one. However it seems like you can’t just have 1 kid in this world. Only children miss out on having a shared experience with a sybling. But right now, I cannot imagine getting pregnant again. And the first 10 months were so difficult. I can’t imagine going through sleep deprivation again. Although I would love to see my daughter interacting with another child. She would be an amazing older sister and she’d have to learn to share her toys.Needless to say, we’re undecided.
We are parents of an adorable baby boy and we would love to adopt again, but for the tme being our selected country is closed to adoptions. I would love to have another child through the miracle of adoption, but because of the economy we might not be able to? It’s just so sad that I did not find my wonderful husband until I was in my 40’s…such a sad twist of fate for those who want a large family.
My wife and I had a tough time having our second child. Two months of Chlomed and woolah – baby Ryan was a bun in the oven. When Ryan was born he had premature lungs and fought for his life for 10 days in the baby intensive care unit at First Presby. We will never forget the scare and the difference in the delivery room between our first boy and our second. The first was so peaceful, harmonic, I remember an Enya song playing in the background and me handing baby Grant to my wife. We were living a dream. With Ryan, bells were going off, doctors were rushing into the room, we did not get to hold him, and they were doing crazy tests and rushed him off to another room. That was on Thursday. By Saturday midnight his breath rate was over 200 per minute and his lung sacs were closing. We called our church and prayed. The next morning, our pastor skipped his sermon and came and prayed with us. By noon Sunday, Ryan began catching his breath and his breathing started to improve. Ryan was happy and healthy within 2 weeks and has strong lungs and is 100% normal. Thank goodness. Now 6 and 3, we long for a girl to add to the troop but at ages 39 (wife) and 35, we question where oh where will the energy come from. And I fear for the health of my wife and our 3rd child. I think we have to hang up our baby hat, be happy we have healthy children, and enjoy life to the fullest with 2 incredible sons.
To Coach H – Why not consider adopting a little girl from China? You are ensured a girl and she will already be 2, so perhaps that will help your energy levels!
We always joked in our house the number of kids should never exceed the number of adults. After all, who wants to go from man-to-man to zone defense, right?But for far more practical reasons, many of them already listed, we’re planning on two children in our family. We’ve always agreed on that.
Moving on to new phases of life past the baby phase is great and rewarding too!!My husband and I have two wonderful daughters, the youngest being 3 1/2. We love this “non baby” phase of our life and the new experiences that it brings. We can travel a lot lighter, enjoy many of the same things together and the communication is just so much more clear than it was when the girls were young (especially for daddy). I love it that my girls have each other and that my husband and I can finally have time for just us. It is just so important to me for our daughters to see mommy and daddy having a relationship beyond just being parents. We are the ones that will define what they think a relationship should be like one day and I want to give them the opportunity to see us at our best. I think the best compliment they could give us to toast to our relationship at their wedding one day and hope their marriage is like ours.I say all of this because making time to be a woman, wife and mother is possible and rewarding in it’s own special way even if it doesn’t entail having more babies. We are thrilled to be moving on to new phases of all of our lives (now that I say this, I hope my husband’s doctor did a very good job :-)I know mine did when I had the post baby mommy makeover!!!
We had a girl and boy 15 months apart and kept going back and forth about adding a third. Well we did, he is 5 1/2 years younger and considered having a forth close so he wasn’t so much younger than his siblings. We decided against it but someone had another idea for us. We were blessed with another son a little over 2 years after #3. So…we have a 9 year old daughter, an 8 year old son, a 2 year old son and a 5 month old son. The two older kids ADORE their little brothers and they have added SO much to our family. Even though we did not plan #4 (I was on the pill!!), we could not imagine life without him and feel blessed to have 4 healthy, happy children. Granted our house is a little chaotic most of the time, but we wouldn’t change a thing.