I’ve said this in the past, I am not an expert on everything, maybe just one or two things! But what I am really good at is connecting you with people who truly are experts in some way that applies to all of us. One of my friends, Paige M., has one of the most beautiful families I have encountered. They adopted their two daughters and I thought this would be such an enlightening and interesting perspective for all to embrace. Here’s Paige:
“How many of us knew growing up we wanted to become mommies? When I ask my oldest daughter, Abby (5), what she wants to be when she grows up it is always, every time “a mommy”. I don’t remember any specific dreams about being a mommy but it was just an assumption I had and I knew regardless of where else my life took me I would one day be a mommy. It didn’t seem like a big leap for me really. I just completely took this “plan” for granted. I was extremely lucky in meeting my husband in college and marrying him at what I look at now as the young age of 25! We enjoyed the young married life here in Charlotte. Yes, we too visited Have a Nice Day, Haley’s, Thomas Street, and numerous other watering holes. I surely passed some of you all in these establishments years ago!
We finally decided to start our family after a few years and I knew going into it that all women in my family had a difficult time becoming pregnant. Knowing this I was fairly proactive and thought I was taking the right measures to “help” the process along. With all of this and after a full year of trying on our own we finally visited the doctor (with all of my charts in tow). Months of testing later what I call the Mack truck came along nailing us and flattening us in our tracks. We would almost never have our own biological children! I say almost because you never know what may happen although we have indisputable evidence to tell us otherwise. Now, Mike and I looking back on this experience and realize with 100% certainty what a blessing this immediate and shocking verdict was. Just talk to any of your friends who have been through an ounce of infertility treatments and they will tell you how lucky we were to “dodge” this bullet. At the time of course we did not feel this way, what is the expression of “not seeing the trees through the forest”? It took us probably a good six months to pick our selves off the floor and even discuss having children again. Once we did it was with a clear path and a mission in front of us. Adoption!!!!
Scary as heck to begin with and so many millions of stories I could tell you. There are so many different ways to proceed and too many millions of decisions to make. But Wow! I can’t even put into words how awesome and fulfilling the experience was when all was said and done. I imagine somewhat like being pregnant and delivering but can’t really compare it to anything else I have experienced. We now have two beautiful daughters through adoption and can honestly not imagine having our family formed any other way.
The stories here are endless and we are usually happy to answer most questions as long as they are not too personal for our girls. I can give you the short story for both of them. We did two domestic adoptions meaning both girls were born in the US. We desperately wanted a newborn and therefore had to pursue domestic adoption. I felt for a long time that I had been “cheated” out of being pregnant and therefore I wanted to have a newborn so I didn’t “miss” anything else. I now realize that I haven’t been cheated out of anything and can’t even fathom bearing my own children (honestly and I know hard to believe for many of you!) We have what I would classify as two semi-open adoptions; Meagan’s being more open by a long stretch. We adopted Abby at birth and met her for the first time in the hospital. Meagan was almost seven weeks old when we adopted her and we first met her at her foster mother’s home. Again the stories here are endless and I am happy to share. If you are even thinking about adoption or are on the infertility roller coaster, know that adoption is a wonderful thing and Mike and I are so enriched and blessed by these two girls and their birth families. In adoption it isn’t IF but WHEN!”
Thanks, Paige! We’ll read more from Paige on her adoption stories for sure!