One of my best friends, Michele, “picked me up” at Kindermusic. Michele asked me “out” on a play date, and we have been friends ever since. Michele and I hit it off instantly, we parent in similar manners, love to cook and entertain, hate conflict, and adore being moms. Thanks to Kindermusic and confidence, Michele and I are friends for life.
As a mom, making friends is a lot like dating – you need to have the courage to ask someone out, tolerance for those inevitable bad dates, and knowledge to know where to find great connections. Play dates are just that . . . dates! For the first play date, you often meet at a third party location . . . just in case the date goes south and you need to make a quick get-away. You exchange numbers in hopes the other calls you first. Come on, we ALL get dressed up for the first play date but end up in workout pants by the fourth! Mom dating is all a game of expanding your network and putting yourself out there.
Friendships with other moms is priceless. These moms are the ones you turn to for advice on potty training, bedtime routines, and temper tantrums. Having a day where you want to pull your hair out? Call a mom friend and you instantly feel better. These are the women that understand and are there for you when a sitter cancels last minute. These women know when to pour a glass of wine and just listen.
Much like dating, meeting new moms can be daunting. While I’m a born extrovert (often to a flaw), many moms are more subdued. Trying to engage in conversation with a complete stranger can be difficult and intimidating. How can these mothers find their niche? It’s easy since “Mom Dating” in Charlotte is like shooting fish in a barrel. Hit a park and find a new friend faster than you can say “time out”. Get in the dating scene by becoming a regular at mommy hot spots like Chick-fil-A, bookstores, or the YMCA. Hang around these places long enough and you are bound to score some digits. Start a “supper club” for mothers in your neighborhood! Want to pick up a new friend? Invite her to your house with a group where they can sip on vino and nosh on dinner that they didn’t make, all sans the kiddies. Instant friendship, I promise! The truth is that ALL MOMS want to meet new people. We crave connections and long for friendship. Build your confidence and approach someone new knowing they are eager to engage in adult chat just as much as the next girl.
Moms need confidants just as much as we need “me time”. Hitting the playground alone can be rough and let’s face it, boring after awhile. Tapping into a social network will make your walk along the mommyhood path a wonderful one. After all, we all need someone to call when your three year old flushes a flashlight down the potty or your seven year old simply “must” have the newest fashion trend by school tomorrow. So, let’s hear it for friendships and for living in a glorious city that makes mom dating a breeze.
5 comments
Krista, great blog – I know the scenario all too well. For another spin on "mom dating" check out the blog we ran on Triad Smarty Pants:http://triadsmartypants.blogspot.com/2009/03/smarty-guide-to-picking-up-mom-friends.htmlKatie
I can completely relate! Love this post. And, I'll totally admit to dressing up for those first playdates. : ) It took me a year after quitting my job to find my new mommy group. After several "mom dates" I am happy to say that I have found some fabulous new friends.
What a fun post! I love this unique subject and feel the need to embrace this in my town. Bravo! kz
so true!!!! and yes, you do dress up/fix up your hair for the first date. thanks for posting.
I am part of a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in Fort Mill, although they are all over the place. This is like a big dating service for moms! These girls have been my constant over the years through house moves and church changes. If you'd like to walk into a room of moms also looking for someone to do life together, check it out! We do girl's nights out, but also have regular childless "dates" twice a month on Friday. I guess your kids get to "date" as well in a safe environment getting to know other kids. http://www.fortmillmops.org/smf/index.php