Just a Dab is necessary

When I look back on 2015, I think I’ll remember it as the year I learned two priceless life skills: the Whip and the Dab. The first I usually use for the shock-n-awe, party-trick moments, but the latter has really come in handy in my everyday life. More on that later, but first, I want to take this opportunity to thank the man who taught me this important skill: Cam Newton.

Now, I know there was a brief rustling of negativity around it, but who had time to listen to it? Not me. First of all, I haven’t really let out a breath since September when the back-to-school madness collided with the early-onset holiday rush so keeping up with Dab haters has been low on my priority list. Secondly, I’ve been so busy falling in love with Cam every week (in a majorly proud mama sort of way), I haven’t had time for much else.

What I HAVE had time for is noticing how useful the Dab is OFF the football field. We all know how well it works for celebrating touchdowns, but did you know how well it translates to everyday life? Take these as examples:

Dab for suaveness. This photo of my boys and their bestie is cute-ish, and 100% blackmail worthy in about 10 years, right?

But, look what happens when you add just a dab of the Dab to it. Awkward smiles replaced by semi-coolness. Thanks, Cam, for making our Christmas memories just a little less #awkward and a little more #ricosuave.

Dab for shade. Sun’s in the kids’ eyes for a photo? Just dab. Thanks, Cam, for providing shade during our sunniest Carolina days. #ourfuturessobright

Dab for silence. I even found a quick Dab to be just what we needed to divert my hubby’s attention when things get a li’l heated on the U8 basketball court. He can’t even see what’s going on whilst in the Dab, and if he still wants to “get into the game,” he can do so into his elbow. Better acoustics that way. Thanks, Cam, for making an 8:30 am Saturday youth basketball game more muffled. #peaceandquiet

Dab for Santa. I saw this one on Facebook. I actually didn’t even know the elf’s hands could separate because our elf is quite lazy and just sits with his hands folded in place, BUT if your elf is running low on ideas for surprising the kids, show him (or her) this. Thanks, Cam, for taking the Panthers all the way to the North Pole. #onlytwomorenightswiththeelf

Dab for public health. My little guy never seemed to remember the “cough into the elbow” rule until now. I am now telling him to Dab during any coughing fit. Thanks, Cam, for helping protect Smarty Charlotte from airborne illnesses. #superherotalent

Dab for sanity. This is a must-do for any Smarty mom with a tween, teen, or general slob in the house. The minute my blood pressure rises while walking by my tween’s room, I just Dab. Works every time. Thanks, Cam, for making it all disappear for a split second. #calgontakemeaway

So, thanks, Cam. Thanks for introducing me to the dance move that keeps me “current” yet still semi-unaware of the craziness around me. Thanks for leading my beloved native city’s team on this unbelievable ride. And, thanks for choosing the Dab over the Michael Jackson crotch-grab. Whew. Things could’ve gone South REAL quick (no pun intended).