Summer Bucket Lists in real life

Much like forgetting the pains of labor, I always forget how dang hard summer is on a mom. The craziness of May turned into the insanity of June. I blinked, we’re past July 4th, and I’m officially tired. Are you? I don’t know; maybe it’s the heat, but this summer has been exceptionally exhausting. I think it’s because on top of being a chauffeur, chef, babysitter, sheriff, maid, counselor, judge, bank, record keeper, and blogger, I am (like every other mom I know) also the summer cruise director. Forget what all of those other blogs say, here’s the #truth. Kids have to have a plan for the day. At least mine do. No plan = bickering + iPad domination + Xbox fluency + more bickering (squared).

The problem with the “plan” is that some Pinterest chick made it a “Summer Bucket List,” so now we have proof on the fridge of my shortcomings. I feel like the Bucket List is now my job description, and I am one missed trip to Putt Putt away from getting fired. The reality of summer is far less fun than the Bucket List falsely advertises – my days are spent in short bursts of intense activity that (literally) melt together to make one 24 hour day – applying sunscreen to countless arms, legs, and faces; counting heads; scrounging for “dinner,” finding a place to take four children that doesn’t cost $100 for an hour, washing towels…and washing more towels. But, I am giving it a go for the kids – even though I’m fully aware none of them will remember this summer from any other summer.

The only way I’m keeping my sanity is to conjure up scenes in my head from some of my fave ’80s-’90s movies. DEFINITELY Netflix this list for a little humor this summer (except “Steel Magnolias” – yes, it does have every quote necessary for illustrating life as a Southern mama, but you’ll lose ten pounds of water from crying, so you might want to pass…or watch it over and over depending on how much junk you ate during your own beach trip ;-))!

1. “Lazy” Summer Mornings – “Overboard”

Back in May when I was counting down the days to summer, this is what I envisioned I’d be doing. See? Summer amnesia

This is actually what I look like when we try to have a “lazy” summer morning, which turns into children bouncing off the walls. Actually it’s what I look like right now. Seriously.

2.”Quiet” time reading chapter books – “Goonies”

Am I speaking English? Can my children actually hear me? I don’t think so because I swear it takes forever for anyone to acknowledge me. And the above is the quote that goes through my head every time I try to give directions to my brood – especially when I am asking them to get off the iPad and pick up a book. “Book?” “THAT’S WHAT I SAID! BOOK!” Geez. I need a glass of wine.

3.Family Field Day – “Clueless”

I don’t have a nose job, but I do have three boys so I literally do have balls flying in my face. And I have no social life – I had to lock myself in my room the other day to talk to my friend in peace because They are always with me!!

4. Pool/Beach Day – “Summer Rental”

This is me during a normal trip to the pool – minus the sand. And it’s me at the beach very soon – what you can’t see is four kids scared to get into the water because of sharks. This is going to be an amazing beach trip. I can already tell.

5. The best way to describe how I feel at the end of a summer day when I’m with my kids 24/7 – “Steel Magnolias”

But…