Any mom offering sleep advice without me asking. I didn’t ask. I realize I may not be doing it right, but maybe you aren’t either. How about that logic!
Moms who are fully dressed before 8am. We can’t be friends.
The ice-cream at Chick-fil-A. It’s awful.
Smocked dresses on 10-year-olds.
The cost of summer camps. Seriously?
Birthday presents that have a million pieces. Why? Why would you do this to me?
Playdates that eat all my snacks and constantly complaining they are hungry. Next time I will just take them to Costco and let them graze instead of coming to my house and ripping it apart.
Mommies-to-be who think they know everything. I should check back in nine months to see how that’s working out for them.
People who constantly ask me if my twins are the result of IVF. Yes, they were.
People who constantly ask me if my twins are identical. One is a boy and one is a girl. Geez, I hope they aren’t the same down there.
The term Kelly Green.
Nurseries for newborns that are nicer than my master bedroom.
Moms who don’t share recipes. This must be a southern thing?
Anyone who is on a girls trip on a weekend that I’m not. I resent your Facebook posts.
Lunchables.
Swim practice.
Really super healthy eating mommies. I don’t like you because I want to be you.
Competitive Christmas carding. I hate it and yet I do it. I’m already working on my design for next year. I may have a problem.
Honey Boo-Boo Child.
Moms without a sense of humor. Parenting is hilarious. It’s okay to laugh!
OK, Smarties, dish it!
7 comments
Moms who use the way they eat to judge other moms. Good for you for being gluten/ dairy/ soy/ GMO/ vegan AND organic. Now excuse me while we go to TCBY.
And I second the summer camp cost- $185 for 15 hours of playing princess or drawing animals? It’s cheaper to pay a sitter and I don’t have to have anyone up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:30 am.
These are hilarious! I wake up at 6am with my newest one and I’m still not dressed by 8. Smocked dresses on 10 year olds – definitely drives me crazy. And people really ask you if your twins are result of IVF + identical? Really? How rude + dumb!
Also, I’m turning into a super healthy eating mom, but the type that drives me absolutely crazy are the moms who eat healthy and give tons of restrictions for meals provided after the birth of a baby (I had one mom say no red meat, no tomato based sauces, no beans, and no cheese. Umm, what am I supposed to make then???). Meals are provided to be nice to new moms, but it’s not a special order service – just take the food you get and say thank you. Then, they turn around and give their toddler a gogurt. I’m pretty sure that has tons of unhealthy stuff in it. Craziness!
Ok. Rant over. Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Moms who are crafty….I am jealous of them and their skills!
Krista, This is a fab post. I think CSP should start “sarcasm sunday”.
A little humor helps us all get through the long summer days.
xoxo
Hysterical! Love the one about moms to be who think they know eveything- think again! To piggyback off that is moms who only have a baby and judge other moms for having crazy toddlers. Just you wait! Also moms with one kid who go way overboard on everything and judge other moms who do not!
I’m with you on twin question… Hey nosy, want to know all the dirty details of IVF???
Thank you for this. Hilarious! Big LOL for “Nurseries for newborns that are nicer than my master bedroom”.
I would like to add… people who constantly post vacation pictures on Facebook. How do you generate income to pay for these vacations if you are constantly on vacation?