Milestones

Milestones that Will Make You Cry . . . (Huge Gigantic Tears of Relief)

1. First family vacation sans diapers. The freedom of not having to worry about poop, pee, diapers and anything else other than a toilet is intoxicating. Almost as intoxicating as a stinky diaper alert when packed in the car for a road trip.

2. No more sippy cups. Never having to twist those tops and carry those plastic torture devices around is fantastic.

3. Showers. No longer bending over and physically giving your child a bath. Backbreaking labor is a thing of the past.

4. Drop-off birthday parities. Babysitting for the price of a present.

5. No more cutting up food. Finally sitting down to a meal without cutting bite sized pieces. Epic win!

6. Never, ever, ever hearing the question “mom can you help me wipe?” again. Like, ever.
7. Sleepover parties.

8. Selling, donating, or demolishing your highchair. Little known fact, highchairs are the most disgusting, bacteria filled items in the world. Google it.

9. Going to the pool and not having to get in the water. Summer improves a ton when your children swim independently and you can watch from the splash zone.

10. Movies. When your child sits still for an entire movie you will cry. Silence really is golden.

11. Naptime is put to rest. When your child drops the afternoon nap you will go into a fetal position and beg for mercy for about a week. Once you get your act together you will see that it is all going to be okay. They sleep better at night and you can go tons more places as a family. Think a trip to the beach without hauling all your stuff and back and forth for naps.

12. School bought lunches. I hate making lunches. I have packed no less than four million in my lifetime as a mom. I love having the option for them to buy at school.

13. Making beds. If you can make a bed, you can fold clothes. Get to it.

14. Drop-off play dates.

15. Tying shoes. I will throw a party for myself when all of my children can tie their own shoes. It will be a glorious affair. I may even have it catered.

Truth is, I really look forward to all the items on this list. I see it as a family bucket list to freedom. I realize when the children are fully grown I will read this and probably frown at all the wonderful things I miss doing. On my sons wedding day I will attempt to bend down and tie his fully grown shoe to get him prepared to meet his bride. He will most likely swipe my hand away and do it himself . . . and I will die inside.

I hope my children will never not need me. I’m 34 and I still need my mother. Not to tie my shoes or pack my lunch but to listen to me, guide me and maybe when I really need it, send me to my room for a much needed nap.