I’ve finally given in and given up. I have been worn down. I lost.Though the journey was long and I fought the good fight, I am now a card carrying member of the Loser Cruiser Club.
I, like you, never saw myself as this and vowed never to sink to this level of mommery back in my formerly hot life. Today, however, is a new day and I now drive a Loser Cruiser.
The word “minivan” has such a stigma, doesn’t it? I just don’t care anymore.
I am in love with this fine piece of machinery, this living-room-on-wheels. My heart swells with gratitude every time I drive it, knowing how much it has reduced the stress in my life in so many ways. I won’t bore you with the details of cupholders, cargo space, automatic doors and the like. You’ve all been in one at some point, I’m sure. The stories are all true and I’ve never met an owner who doesn’t gush over their Loser Cruiser.
I am one of them.
I’ve never been a pride-in-my-ride kind of gal because I’ve never had enough Benjamins to dream big when it comes to cars. My car ownership history is questionable: Ford Escort (totaled at age 16), Honda CRX (why in the hell would my parents let me drive this death trap?), Toyota Corolla (only wrecked it once), Volvo sedan (only wrecked it twice and only ran into the garage door once) and Loser Cruiser (only ran into the side of the garage once in 4 months). I really am a good driver but with bad luck.
My mom friends with SUVs have said “I just can’t go there” and “Don’t you feel so….conspicuous?” and my all-time favorite: “You know you won’t get a ‘look’ driving that” to which I replied “You are driving an SUV with 19 magnets on the back and a gaggle of kids hanging out the window. You think people don’t know you’re a mother? You think you’re getting a look from that hot guy pulled up next to you? Please.”
I embrace my Loser Cruiser and have turned in my cool card, for now.
11 comments
Brings me back to the conversation we had at Katie’s Pawleys house in March. Glad to know you’ve come over to our side. You’ll love it!
I couldn’t do it, and went for the SUV. I really really would LOVE to have those sliding doors. I’m constantly on damage patrol in parking lots. You go, girl.
I was the first of my friends to drive a minivan. We even drove it to a wedding where my friends were appalled – but I owned it! Why make something harder than it had to be to retain your coolness? I have now moved on from the van but now love a Volvo wagon! I recently saw a minivan with a bumper sticker reading “I used to be cool”- that alone makes her a COOL MOM!
oh my word, this made me laugh. had no idea my wheels were referred to as “loser cruiser”. welcome to the club. haha
I held out firm. No loser cruiser for this Smarty Mama. SUV all the way baby! Made it through the early years with wall-to-wall carseats three rows deep. Now I’m in the home stretch, almost out of carseats, no more strollers, just sports gear. And that my friend, has SUV written all over it:-) The only envy I have is the magic doors. My kids would give anything to have magic doors….
Oh, and my cool factor escalated when my SUV got a pink make-over. Yup, you should see the “looks” – HA!!
Charlotte is the only place I have ever lived where people are so judgmental about what car we drive. Seems sad to me. I buy cars for functionality, not because they are cool or uncool!
Yes, agreed. What ever happened to “it’s what’s on the inside, not the outside”?
I still drive a…..CAR!!! Do any moms do that anymore?
It’s not a Loser Cruiser- it is a SWAGGER WAGON!!!
We can get our cool cars and our cards back when our job duties no longer include taxi driving.
Besides, think of how much fun we will have when our oldest kids are driving it around at age 16?
lol Yes JGM… I still drive a car too. I only have two kids and no, I can’t taxi them and all their friends around but I find it hard enough to drive sometime with just the two of them!