By Celeb Smarty Mom, Angie Flowers
When Jen asked me a couple of weeks ago to write about my experiences as a mommy so far, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. I had written a couple of funny stories (at least I thought they were) about how my husband and I weren’t sure whether to keep Caleb in the infant car seat for his first doctor’s appointment even though he was sleeping or the time when I was speed shopping in Target because I was afraid he would cry or maybe I was afraid I would cry.
Well now, I’m getting ready to return to work and there are a host of emotions and thoughts that I’m having. I know every working mom has been here before and survived, but man, it’s hard. It’s funny because people have always said my crazy hours are actually good when you have a baby. These are people I’ve worked with over the years who have had babies. While I can see the benefits of my work schedule fitting into being the mom of a baby, I can’t help but be saddened by the things I’ll only be able to do on the weekends now. For example, I’ve always been there when he wakes up in the morning. For the past 12 weeks, I was usually the first face and the first voice he heard every morning (and sometimes dad when he wasn’t working). And now that he’s getting older, he greets us with big smiles and giggles. He’s so funny. Also, I enjoy changing his clothes and getting him ready for his big day that usually entails just going downstairs to the family room. And he’s gotten to enjoy that process, too. In fact, he’s become quite the kicker while on the changing table. So, I’m a little sad that I won’t be here for those moments anymore… until the weekend, of course.
There’s a funny story I have to share that happened just the other day. I was at a grocery store in a small town with my mom and Caleb needed a diaper change right away (yes, that kind of diaper change). Get this, the grocery store didn’t have a changing table in the ladies’ restroom. I was not ready for that. So, I did the next best thing. I changed him in the backseat of my car. Caleb was a good boy during all the craziness. His mom, on the other hand, was just crazy and freaking out a bit. But hey, in the end, he rode away in a clean diaper. Ahh!
We’ve come a long way – Caleb and I… mostly me. From the emotions of bringing home a baby to leaving him to go back to work. I’ve enjoyed every moment of being a mom, even when I thought I may not be good at it. I’ve learned that, too, comes with the territory. In the past few weeks, I’ve learned so much about myself, my marriage and love. I never knew you could love someone so much. I’d heard about it, but people always said it’s hard to describe. And it really is. I’m so in love with my little guy. And just when I think I can’t possibly love him anymore, he smiles that smile that makes me feel like he knows what I’m thinking and feeling or he inadvertently brushes his mouth against my cheek or my neck. And I melt. I like to think of it as Caleb giving mommy a kiss. He is simply amazing! And just like one of the books I enjoy reading to him, “Guess How Much I Love You.” I love Caleb right up to the moon and back.
Caleb Jason was born April 9, 2011, 7lbs., 3 oz., 21 inches.
Photo credit: Jennifer Kiser Photography