By Lisa W:
I think that all working women have two distinct personalities (or at least I do). I believe in this theory because daily there is a fine line I walk between sane and insane.
As a working mom, I morph into two people. Lisa A is the buttoned up, laptop wielding, presentation giving guru intent on kicking butt and taking names. On the flip side, Lisa B can be a sniveling, guilt ridden, puddle of mush prone to fits of anger and crying jags.
On any given day, I can alternate between Lisa A and Lisa B. Lisa A did five things on her To Do List before lunch, hosted a conference call and conducted a status meeting with her PR team. I feel fulfilled and proud of my professional achievements. Then lunch hits; I am hungry and decide to walk across the street to grab a sandwich. On my way there I pass a table of women eating lunch on the patio of a local restaurant in their work out gear. I am trying not to glower at them as I walk by. Why do these lucky tanned and toned gals get to sit and eat lunch enjoying their afternoon while I slave at my desk eight hours a day? Life is not fair. I want to be a lady who lunches. I hate my life.
Whoa! That came on fast and now I am pouting as I eat lunch under the florescent light of my office. When lunch is over, I return to work. The afternoon is dedicated to creating a new logo for a company and I remember how much I love the creative process, the color pallets and thought that goes into building a brand. I’m busy and creative; the afternoon flies by.
Five o’clock arrives and it’s time to pick up Katherine. Yippy! I breathe in the fall air as I drive to pick up my little girl. Unfortunately, I have to drive by the YMCA. Here it comes. Mini-van moms with their kids coming out of dance class, swim class, yoga or whatever fun and enriching activity that just took place. AHAHAHAH! I never can take a class with my daughter. She suffers at day care. She can’t swim and why does every place in Charlotte make all classes during the day? What about us working moms? I can’t attend a music class at 10:30 am. How am I supposed to do baby yoga at 3:30? The world caters to Stay at Home Moms. I hate my job.
My day finally comes to a close, when I sink into the rocking chair in my daughter’s nursery to feed her the 7:00 bottle; it’s quiet. My heart rate evens with the slow rocking of the chair as the quiet breathing of my sleeping baby falls in step with my own. I’m blissfully happy and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
OK, your turn to vent!
8 comments
There's no end to the debate. I had to laugh at you admiring the lunching women. As a SAHM, I have often been eating lunch (with or without a friend) and see a working person walking by. I get filled with a little envy of having another life…away from the children and a way to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride that the thankless job of parenting young children does not provide. Yet, I am grateful I don't have to balance anything more in this already full life!
Amen Lisa!
Totally agree, Lisa!! I enjoy working and I enjoy hanging out with Carson, but I just wish I could make my own schedule – similar to college. 🙂 That way, I could do some things during the day with her and work when I needed to.
The book "Mommy Wars" is a great, entertaining read for any mom. It profiles both working and SAH moms' real stories. I work full time, and probably always will because it's in my DNA. I love being a working mom.
It's a constant struggle, no doubt. Thanks for a great article – it's reassuring to know we're not alone in our crazy existence of wanting it all! I work part-time which would appear to be the ideal balance. (And most days it is). But sometimes, I feel like I'm falling short with both my career and my most important job… mom. At the end of the day, all we can do is our best – which thankfully is usually good enough!
what a great point of view. thanks for giving us your side of the story!
Another well-written post Lisa! Just know that as a SAHM, I have the mirror-image jeckyl/hyde personality. While I relish being able to go to mommy classes with my boys, I go to them in last years Old Navy cords instead of wearing cute new outfits that I could otherwise justify if I were working. Cest la vie…
Lisa, Our jobs practically mirror one another. And I "ditto" exactly what you are communicating. As much as I love my job and feel stimulated, I still feel like I am missing out. It is easy to become jealous of what you don't have, so I have to remind myself about the positive impression (working and being a terrific mom) that I am giving my children- especially my daughter. Thank you for venting about your struggle.