Hmmm…. This has been a topic of discussion in our household lately. We want to add to our family but when is a good time? Maybe there’s really not a “good” time and you just dive into it? Our twin boys are 2 1/2 years old so they would be over 3 if we were lucky to get pregnant right away. I hope by then they will be a little more manageable or maybe I just have wild children!
I know I have mentioned in a previous post that twins run in my family. That is one fear that my husband has with trying for another baby. I told him what this week’s topic was and asked if he had any input. He joked that if we had twins again that he was leaving the country:) Very funny. (Not really). Anyways, I assured him that the OB had said it would be very unlikely for that to happen again. I was careful not to scare him and tell him about a woman I know whose mother had THREE sets of twins! I can’t even imagine. I guess it’s not John and Kate plus eight but that’s still pretty crazy!
So I selfishly wanted to wait until after the summer vacation so I could enjoy some beach time and a few fruity cocktails. We were very lucky to get pregnant right away with the twins but as I have spoken about before, we had some major complications. You really never know what is going to get thrown your way. For instance, who knows how long it would take this time to conceive or even if we would be able to? You just never know. I can only hope for a healthy baby and an uneventful pregnancy if we are blessed to conceive once again. This may also sound selfish but I really do want to experience a somewhat “normal” pregnancy (if there is such a thing). My first pregnancy with the boys was an emotional roller coaster from week 8 until week 30 when the boys were delivered via c section. Of course the three months in the NICU were something I would not wish upon anyone. That said, we are so VERY grateful to have these beautiful boys in our lives and doing as well as they are. We have had few issues and this is quite amazing considering the long list of complications that are common, such as intracranial hemorrhage or retinopathy due to prematurity.
I remember some of the most painful moments following their delivery. First, I didn’t even really get to see the babies until 12 hours after they were born. They were whisked away among the twenty some people in the delivery room. The second moment was lying in my hospital bed and when the nurses would bring the newborns to their moms in the next room to be fed. I could hear the babies crying and it would tear me apart. Then when I was discharged and had to go home without my babies…..Ughhh. I can’t even explain what that felt like. I can remember standing in the elevator feeling so envious of those mothers who jumped on with their healthy newborns. They would be holding the babies, ready to go home with their balloons and all the new baby gifts. I just kept praying that I would take mine home at some point. This probably sounds so depressing but my point is that I would LOVE to have a pregnancy that goes full term and we all can come home right away. I guess I feel like I missed out on that whole experience. So we will see…..
I must say if I have any hesitations, it would be how to split time among all the siblings. Two is pretty easy, especially if the hubby is around. Now it’s one on one, but with one more you are playing zone defense. I started thinking of logistics as far as strollers and going places with three. I guess maybe I will just be on house arrest for a while? I know all you triplet moms and moms of three plus are probably laughing at me right now.
My little secret is that I would love to have a girl. I came from a family of five girls (my poor dad!). So I have heard about this Dr. Shettles book that helps determine the sex of the child you are trying to conceive. Anyone know about this? I say this but I really do love having boys. They are such mama’s boys so I would definitely welcome another boy. Although, I am feeling outnumbered since the dog is a male as well.
My mother thinks I am crazy to go for a third. I think it’s mostly because we don’t have family in town to help out. My grandmother came over every night to cook or help put my four sisters to bed. I think that would be a dream but I guess it all depends on what relationship you have with your mother or mother-in-law! Then I had a friend ream into me about why I would want another and how I was contributing to the overpopulation of this planet, etc. I was a little taken back but I also had to realize she doesn’t have children and not sure if they even want children.
We would love to hear more stories about how you all fell into motherhood and if you had similar experiences. Let me know if anyone thinks that Shettles book is worth a look. Thanks for reading!
7 comments
I don’t have much to say about deciding on another, but I do understanding wanting to experience pregnancy past a certain point. I delivered my first at 35 weeks. So when I got to 36 weeks with my second I was so excited, I have never experienced this before. Then 37, 38, 39, 40, and 41 weeks came and went. I finally went to 41 weeks with her. (She tried to come at 23 weeks and we successfully stop that – but if she could not come when she wanted to – she was going to make me wait and wait and wait. She is still as stubborn today, 11 years later as she was then!!) So with our 3rd we induced at 38 weeks. Enough experience for me! Good luck with your decision. I know it is difficult – but also very personal.As you consider this – don’t just consider the younger years. I have 15, 11, 10 – while difficult when younger (and even now) it is different. We enjoy going here with #1 and there with #2, etc. Just neat to have the different personalities in the house.
they also talk about determining gender in an way that’s easy to understand in the book, “taking charge of your fertility.” interesting stuff.
Thanks for the comments! Wow, 41 weeks! I can’t even imagine. She must be a little stubborn! Glad to hear that you made it that long though with a scare at 23 weeks. For the second comment, thanks for the book recommendation. A friend just emailed and said she has the book for me to borrow. Now if I can just find some time to sit down and read it! Thanks.
I think we are in the same boat together. I also have 2 darling boys (not twins) whom I wouldn’t trade for the world, but also desire that little girl. I am also out numbered in the family, our dog is also a male! Our families are also out of state. Anyway my mother and I have always been close and I cherish that bond we have. I miss her lots and always hoped for a similar relationship if I was to have a daughter. My mom knows I would love to have a girl so she had sent me in the mail the info on shettles and baby decisions. The website http://www.babydecisions.com. I have only read up on these online but have not done anything with either one but I thought I could pass on some more info to help you research. I guess what you have to decide is that if you have a 3rd and the outcome is a boy would you be ok with that too??? Good luck in deciding what to do for your family.
I have girl twins who will be 3 in December and a little boy who turned one this July. It was not planned, but I love having all 3 close together. Best of luck to you!!!
My husband and I have started talking about the same thing. My twin boys are 14 months old and I am already thinking about the third (and final) baby. I have always wanted 3 and wanted them close enough in age that they would be in the same schools. However, when to add to our family is a HUGE debate for us. The thought of pushing a triple stroller is overwhelming to me. I would love to have a little girl that has 2 big brothers to watch over her, but when that is going to happen has yet to be decided!
I have a three year old and one year old twins. Right now has been the hardest time yet, twins are walking, little talking and my three year old craves attention. I’m a little nutty but I think in reverse it would be fine to have twins that were older than the one. I like having mine close in age because we can share in the same things around the same times.