It’s a Tuesday morning just before Ryanne’s one month birthday and I am sitting in the pediatrician’s office for an apparent rash that is covering her body. As I am waiting for the doctor to come in, Ryanne decides to break into one of her screaming fits – 20 minutes long where NOTHING will console her. This comes at the time where I think all new moms hit their wall … almost a month of sleep deprivation, non-stop feeding and barely a minute to yourself. And for three weeks now, it seemed that if Ryanne wasn’t sleeping, she was crying. Not just a whimper kind of cry either – it was the screamin’ mad, red-in-the-face where you just want to make everything better kind of cry. Well at that moment in the doctor’s office I hit my wall and I hit it hard. By the time the doctor finally comes in (she had been tied up with a new mom of twins and lots of questions), Ryanne has cried herself to sleep and I am in a fit of tears myself. I want to hand the baby off and RUN – run as fast and far away as I can. Instead, I sniffle through a steady stream of questions, an exam of the baby, a feeding and weight check to see if she’s getting enough to eat, and a few more questions. Dr. Patt was WONDERFUL – she took all the time I needed (I could no longer be mad at her for spending so much time with the mom of twins prior to coming in to see me) and was determined to give me something to walk away with. Finally, we concluded that Ryanne was getting enough to eat and all else looked healthy. She then muttered the words “colic” and “might just be her temperament” – words no mother wants to hear! She gave me lots of advice and things to try and assured me that all this was normal and temporary. Still not what I wanted to hear. Oh – and the rash that we originally went in for – a really bad case of baby acne!
Fast forward a week and we are back in Dr. Patt’s office for our official one month check up and to see how things are going. Good news is, some of her advice was paying off and the fussiness was a little more manageable. The doctor was happy with our progress and jokingly said “you know … the months and years seem to fly by, but the hours and minutes seem like an eternity!” Her words really struck a cord with me – here I was practically wishing away these newborn months to get past all the crying, the sleepless nights and that awful baby acne. When really, I needed to take a deep breath and soak it all in! We knew these first few months would be hard, but I don’t think we were prepared for just how hard. But knowing this is our last baby, I don’t want to look back and feel like the true baby months went by too fast. So now, in the wee hours of the morning after I’ve just gotten done feeding her and want nothing more than to crawl back into my warm, cozy bed … I take a few extra minutes and breath in that wonderful lavender sent from her bath earlier in the evening, feel her soft hair against my cheek and the warmth of her body in the crook of my neck, and most importantly thank God for a healthy baby! And remind myself once again that all that hard stuff … is all temporary!
8 comments
Ok you made me cry!! My twin boys turn 3 years old today and they are my last babies and they are not babies anymore. Oh the time does fly by so fast and I like what your doctor said, that is so true. It just seems like yesterday when the twins were born, but I remember crying in the doctors office, b/c both boys had colic. Our ped, Dr Prosser has twins herself and she was so wonderful. She gave me lots of great advice too and we made it through, and now I would like to go back to some of those days when I could hold both boys in my lap. I can still do it, they just don't like to as much and are too heavy now for me to hold them like that very long! They are BIG 3 year olds! I would have never guessed my premmie boys would grow so fast and be so big. Ok now I am crying again- Thanks for this post this morning. I really enjoyed.Jennifer, Mommy to:Alexis-7AJ-5Carson & Dylan-3!
What a great story! I don’t have kids (yet) but I hope I can be as strong as you.
Tracy – what a great post!! and the photo of Ryanne is beautiful. what a precious little bundle. Yes, it’s all temporary, the good and the bad..I love your last few lines about stopping and taking it all in…so happy for you!Nanine
So, So true! My son had colic – and I bought every book on the planet trying to get ideas to help me deal with it. I found all the books when I was cleaning the other night and I actually thought to myself….”wow – it must have been really bad for me to get so many books.” Now, don’t get me wrong – I remember being out of my mind! But, it does go by fast and sanity returns….you start to forget the bad stuff and remember only the precious moments.
Oh Tracy! How wonderful. Sounds like you have the right perspective. Hang in there- you are a fabulous mommy. Our ped and lactation cons said the same things and it made me feel better too. I was like I left the appts with a second wind could take a fresh start.
I read this to my sister, who also just recently had a baby, and her first question was, “When the heck does she have time to blog, much less actually have time to get onto Charlotte Smartypants!? I haven’t had time to turn my computer on since i brought this child home!” – the reason I had to read it to her! She was grateful to hear that she was not the only one thinking that her life was over or that what she and Baby Max are going trough will eventually end and there will be peace and quiet in her world again!
Thanks for a great post Jen! It was exactly what I needed to read!I’m due 5 weeks from today w/ my first baby and am more scared of being sent home w/ her than the delivery itself! I hear so often about how difficult the first few weeks are and the lack of sleep. I just keep trying to remind myself to enjoy every minute of it b/c before I know it she’ll no longer be the tiny baby I take home from the hospital. I hope I can remember to stop and enjoy the moment in the chaos of trying to figure out a new baby as well as you have!
Our first also had colic and I think I read everything possible out there to try to help, often at 3am! (BTW- The Happiest Baby on the Block video seemed to have the best tips.) At about 4 months, it was like a switch was turned off in her brain and she stopped that inconsolable crying and began to do scheduling and stuff that all the baby books talk about. After that experience, we were scared to death to have a 2nd newborn, but so excited about what would come later! Our 2nd baby has been beyond easy – in fact I thought something might be wrong with her because she cried so rarely. So hang in there – and know that it might balance out with your #2!