Last week I talked about the gear needed to get ready for baby #2. This week I find myself pondering the question “HOW am I going to manage TWO??” I mean, life is fairly easy now … Jake is 4 which means he is potty trained, can get his own snacks, get himself dressed and even knows how to work the remote for his favorite shows. Now we are about to enter the world of a newborn again … the sleepless nights, endless bottles, diapers and dependence on mom and dad for everything! I can’t wait for the baby smell to fill our house again (the good baby smell that is) and to feel the overwhelming emotion of just cuddling with a newborn or watching them sleep, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder how much our life will be turned upside down again!
There seems to be two distinct points of view on this – half of my friends say having a second is not nearly as life changing as when they had their first. The second child just kind of goes with the flow and falls into the routine the family has already established. The other half says “no way!” that having 2 means more than double the work. I guess that all depends on the age difference and the demeanor of the 2 kids. Time will tell, but I’m hoping we fall into the first camp.
Either way, I know it will be important to find ways to try and de-stress our lives as much as possible. I’ve gotten a ton of GREAT advice from friends that have entered into the “man on man” world of raising a family. So here’s a run down on some of the tips and advice from fellow savvy moms to try and make life with 2 a little more manageable.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff – relax and enjoy your newborn!
• Get the older child involved in helping with baby so they don’t feel left out.
• Use a Baby Bjorn or sling – helps to keep hands free to chase after your toddler.
• Plan ahead whenever possible – pack a bag the night before for early morning activities.
• Even if the older child no longer takes naps, plan a rest time to coincide with baby’s nap – gives mom time to recharge as well!
• Use baby’s other nap times as a great opportunity to bond with your older child.
• Depending on the age of the older child, invest in a good double stroller.
• Get a babysitter, even when you are home, to help out with the kids so you can get a few things done.
• And finally, accept people’s offer to help – whether it’s bringing dinner, taking the older child for a play date, or stopping by the grocery store for you. Remember, you would do the same for your friends, so don’t hesitate when they offer!
So now it’s your turn – what other helpful tips have you picked up along the way that might make life for a mommy of 2 a little more manageable?
5 comments
This is advice I give to everyone I know having their 2nd child. In the beginning, if both children need you, always tend to the older child first! The little baby will NEVER remember crying for an extra 5 minutes while you took the older to the potty (or whatever the situation is), but the older will remember more if you start putting his/her needs last all of a sudden. I specifically remember times when both my kids (22 months apart) would be crying at the same time and I would just put the baby down, tend to my son (older) and then pick up the baby and tend to her. I am pretty confident she doesn’t remember a thing. The first born is still your baby too, even though they seem so big when you bring the little home.
I had mine 4 years apart as well.We thought it would be a lot easier due to the age difference. But somehow four years has a way of making you forget the big change a new baby brings! We were really overwhelmed–probably bc #2 was colicky, had reflux and just cried all of the time! I pretty much just nursed all of time which you can imagine kept me pretty “tied down.” If the newbie comes at a time preschool is ending, then my advice is to sign the older one up for summer camp asap!
One piece of advice that I took to heart was to have a designated 1 on 1 time EVERY day with the older child whether it’s reading a book, snuggling or what have you so he/she doesn’t feel like you no longer have time for them. Also, my kids are only 15 months apart and I never would have survived without the itzbeen timer. (http://www.itzbeen.com) It tracks when the baby ate, slept, was changed, which side you nursed on etc. It was a lifesaver for me!
Some great advice my doctor gave me was for when the older sibling visits in the hospital. she told me to make sure the baby was in the bassinet and across the room. That way the older child doesn’t feel threatened or left out. Then you can point out the new baby and it does not seem like the baby is taking over Mommy. She also had similar advice as the other commenter – for the first 6 months the baby won’t remember if you paid more attention to the older child, but the older child will definitely know the difference if you run to the baby first. She said to let the baby cry, and tell the older sibling that it’s ok – sometimes babies cry a lot. That way the older one gets used to the noise and won’t react harshly. We found that to be very helpful – especially in the middle of the night when the toddler was alseep and baby was up crying. Now our 3 year old just covers her ears at night and goes back to sleep.
wow, thanks for all the great advice. Just found out I’m expecting #2 & they’ll be about 2 years apart. The advice about making the older sibling feel loved is perfect. I’m also hoping we’ll fall into that first camp talked about in the article!Maybe I am crazy, but I plan to enjoy the infancy stage more than I did the first time around when I was worried every time the baby cried or missed a nap. Hoping I’ll be able to go with the flow more now!