My Crib is Down

I feel as if I have experienced a great loss. For the first time in 8 ½ years I no longer have a crib set up in my home. I no longer have a nursery. All of my children are now in beds and I have to admit I am very sad about this. After my daughter was born (3rd child), I knew that she was going to be my last baby. I accepted this and been happy about it, until I took down the crib.

When we found out that my brother and his wife were expecting their first child and that their due date was a couple of months after our daughter’s 2nd birthday, we decided that we would give them our crib. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, no big deal right? Wrong! As I took down the crib, I was hit with a wave of emotion that I never expected. All the memories came flooding back, the first time we put our son in the crib, the first time he climbed out. Walking into the nursery after he was in a bed and hoping that one day we would have another baby to use the crib and then one February day we did. I remember buying my first pink sheet to replace the blue, that she didn’t climb out and the day she announced that her new sister could have the baby bed, she was ready for a big girl room.

This brings us to my baby, who is my baby no longer. She loved her crib, she climbed out and climbed back in. Then we put her in a big girl bed and she no longer wanted her crib. So the crib is down, my baby is in a big bed and doing big girl things and I am sad. I am sad that I will no longer be able to peek over the edge of the crib and see the sleeping face of one of my babies, or open the door and see their eyes peeking through the rails at me or even hear feet hitting the floor when one of them would climb out. My children are growing and my crib is gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want a fourth and taking down the crib allowed me to be sad about that and also to celebrate my children by remembering their babyhood. My hope is that my new niece, Emily will love her crib as much as my children did and that she feels all the love that surrounded that crib for the past 8 ½ years. I can’t wait for the day that I can see my brother and his wife peeking over the edge to see their daughter’s beautiful sleeping face. My crib is down. It has a new home and all my babies are tucked safely in their beds.