After 8 years of motherhood, I am just now coming to the conclusion that I could’ve made much better use of my time before kids. I majored in journalism and worked in marketing right out of college – sure, this might come in handy when they need me to edit term papers or come up with a catchy slogan when running for student council – but at this stage of my life as a mom it means nothing.
Yes, I babysat in high school and college, but that’s hardly preparation for what motherhood is really about. I did a few internships in marketing but all I really did was file papers – I guess that helped a little considering I’m the family secretary. Actually, my work at GapKids probably helped me “train” for real life more than anything else – I am an efficient and unbelievable t-shirt and denim folder. Really comes in handy with all the laundry I do.
What other jobs could’ve really helped with this motherhood thing? Let’s see:
– Waitress in a diner – Why didn’t I take a clue from Brandon Walsh? His work at the Peach Pit would totally help him as a dad – knowing the art of short-order cooking would definitely make breakfast, lunch and dinner easier at my house.
– Bus Driver – Surely commanding a busload of elementary school kids would’ve taught me how to tame an unruly carpool. Plus maybe having a bus permit would allow me to get the church van I covet – do you know how many kids I could fit in one of those things?!
– Hotel Concierge – Coming up with what to do everyday with the kids would’ve been a breeze compared to overzealous tourists who need a full itinerary. Plus I might have some major connections with getting the best seats when the Biebs comes to town.
– Hairstylist – Do you know how much money I would save if I could cut hair?? Not to mention how much smoother my mornings would be if I could do a perfect French braid (or just not lopsided pig tails!) on my daughter.
– Construction Worker – It sure would be nice if I would’ve already learned how to lay tile, install appliances, and quickly fix anything that breaks in my house.
– Librarian – Not only would the Dewey Decimal System not completely baffle me, but I would know every awesome children’s book out there
– Football/Soccer/Basketball Coach – At least I’d know all the rules of the game and could get the kids going with some drills really early in life
– Nurse Assistant – I don’t even need to be the real thing – I just need to have been “a trusted employee” in a doctor’s office long enough to have swiped one of those things that doctors use to check kids’ ears for infection.
These are the things your high school counselor doesn’t tell you when she’s helping you plan your life’s path. What should you have done before kids to help you prepare?