As a first-time mom, you are so excited to enter this rite of passage that you have been planning for your entire life. You read every mommy book you can get your hands on. You research your stroller options as if you are shopping for a new car. And you certainly are going to do everything in your power to make sure everything you do is just perfect for your baby and her health. You sign up for every baby activity class from Gymboree, to Music Together to Noah’s Art and beyond. You form a play group for your neighborhood, your old work friends, your old college friends – one for every day as long as it doesn’t interfere with your activity schedule. You hit every library story hour across the Charlotte metro area. You and your baby often enjoy lunches together at normal “adult” restaurants once baby is eating jar/table food. Fast food doesn’t exist in your meal planning, not even Chick-fil-A. Your baby will never eat a piece of candy or a donut until she is at least two. You throw out every single item in your house that is plastic with a fear that it may off-gas onto your baby. You are on a mission to raise the perfect child and will settle for nothing less. Enter baby #2.
Hand-me-downs and second-hand clothing is still not an option in your world. I mean, it’s only the best for your baby, right? Everything is monogrammed still from your burp cloth & bib to baby’s t-shirts, dresses and even panties. Your babies are dressed to the 9’s even if you are donning your yoga duds. And they are always dressed in coordinated outfits from jammies to Christmas dresses – you and your fam have it all together. It’s still all about these beautiful babies that you are parading around. Playgroups are still thriving since you and your buds are all on the same baby train. Activities are still a go, however, you may reduce it to 2 activities a week and two play groups. Anything else is excessive, unless it’s a happy hour play group – you can always make time for that activity. Enter baby #3 and higher.
It’s ok if your boy wears pink jammies. Nobody really sees jammies unless you document in a photograph. Clothes – just the pure quantity of clothing for your children is daunting. A Target run for t-shirts, socks and jammies is well over 100 bucks. So you start to shop the consignment sales and discover that this is the ticket. Why did you ever pay more than $40 for any article of children’s clothing when they are going to outgrow it in two weeks? The 5-second rule for food turns in the 10-second rule that turns into the “No-I-did-not-just-see-him-eat-his-last-chicken-nugget-that-he-dropped-on-the-floor” unless you are cold-busted by the Chick-fil-A tea re-filler. You start to feel like you never leave your car during the day – you thank God every single day that you upgraded to heated seats and the DVD/media system that you swore you would only use on long car trips. That is the only way you get the younger ones through the daily carpool line. Every day is jam-packed with not a second to yourself (playgroups are out the window – no time!), but that’s ok, because you will get your time back someday when all of the chick-a-dees are in kindergarten. Then you do the math and you realize that this will not happen until you are 40 – good Lord, 40 never sounded so good! And you are not at all surprised when your first child knew all the words to “Twinkle, Twinkle” at age 3 and your last child knows all the words to Hannah Montana, regardless of gender. See video below:-)
FANTASTIC! WHAT FUN WALKER……GOOD FOR YOU. YOUR MUSIC CAREER HAS BEGUN!L+h’S DOE AND NORRIS
That is the funniest thing I’ve read/watched in a long time! Thanks for making my day!
So awesome! I was beginning to wonder if my little boy (baby #2) was the only brother singing “Best of Both Worlds”. Thanks for the great laugh!
Jen, I just snorted tea out my nose from laughing at Walker in his undies, playing with his sister’s Barbie, and singing Hannah Montana! That’s one to pop in at his rehearsal dinner! Thanks for the well-needed laugh!
So, so funny! I think it especially hilarious the way that he says “worlds” at the beginning! What a great laugh today!
That is so cute and so true Jen!! I bought pretty much all used equipment when our twins were born. With my first two it was all new. My boys love Hannah Montana as well, they are always singing her songs and want to watch her on Disney. Jennifer H.
Oh my GAWD, so true!! I am the second in four girls, and I SWORE to myself that my child would never have to wear hand-me-downs. Well, let’s just say that lasted until the 0-3mos clothes didn’t fit! Since then it has been consignment all the way!! Too funny, and thanks for the post!!
Laughed out loud, Jen! What a great entry today. As the mom of 3 (going from one to three after twins), I can soooooo relate to this article. And, the video is PRECIOUS!!! Great to meet you at the CMOMs sale on Friday night. I’m sporting my CSP magnet with pride on my Odyssey! Take care!
LOVE the video! thanks for sharing!
I loved the video, and your blog is so true! My friend always used the pacifier analogy: Your child drops his pacifier on the floor at a public place. If it is child #1 you will take it home, boil it and then give it back to him. If it is child #2 you will pick it up, wipe it with a baby-wipe or your shirt and give it back to him. If it is child #3 you will pick it up and stick it right back in his mouth!
My wife shared this with me last night and it was the best laugh I have had in a long time. Walker may never forgive you for it though later in life.
I especially like the way he stokes her hair as if he is serenading her. Too funny.