…Continued from Friday’s post, Tantrum of all Tantrums.
I do remember one time, my parents were in town and we decided to take the trolley uptown to Discovery Place. It was a great outing until 4-year-old Ansley decided that she did not want to get off of the trolley. EVER! So the throw-down, head-banging, traffic-stopping tantrum of all tantrums began. My dad was horrified. I mean in his day, this just did not happen. That was because nobody back then was ever brave enough to leave their house with a 2- to 4-year-old. Those moms just knew better. Not me. I’m a glutton for punishment and I’m an on-the-go kind of mom and I drag my kids everywhere.
So when all of this went down, we were at the 5th Street trolley stop right next to a parking garage. My mom instinctively scooped up baby 2-year-old sister Isabel and started off to Discovery Place. So my dad didn’t know what to do, and in hindsight, I guess he pulled the short straw and stuck with me and Ansley. Over the years, I learned that any intervention when she got to “the point of no return” just resulted in a worse situation, if you can imagine it getting any worse. So with Ansley literally screaming her head off in uptown Charlotte, my dad had reached his personal breaking point and he said to me, “you better do something or I will.” I thought to myself, Dad, you just don’t get it do you? Seriously, what do you really think would help us all at this particular out-of-control moment? Right then, a police officer walked up. He was at the top of the parking deck, obviously heard this screaming and thought I was beating my child, so he came racing down the garage. Upon closer observation he said while chuckling, “oh, it’s a just a 3-year-old tantrum! Good luck, ma’am!” and went on his merry way. After what seemed like an eternity, the tantrum ended and everything was fine. Although I think to this day, my dad deep down thinks Ansley is possessed!
One thing nobody told me is that the “terrible two’s” is a horrible misconception. Mine started one day, literally overnight, at age 16 months. One day, I had this angelic child and my life was bliss. And the next we were thrown this curve ball and never knew what each new day would bring. BTW, the “terrible two’s” doesn’t end until at least age 4 for true tantrumers. I hate to break this news to you newer mommies, but it’s the sad reality of toddlerhood! But as you have more children, you’ll figure out your groove and you’ll let these crazy episodes bounce right off of you. I’m sure many of you have seen me and my posse in a public setting and when things get ugly, I just remove them from the situation, no matter where we are. Even if my grocery cart is full to the top and I need every item in it, I will abandon ship. Even if we are at the pumpkin patch and having a ball on the hay ride, I will abandon ship. The key is consistency.
My question for you, my Smarty friends, is do you have the “tantrum of all tantrums” story to share? I promise, typing it here will be just the therapy you need! Give us a shout out!
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10 comments
Oh, Jen, thanks for this post cause I'm LIVING IT girlfriend! As a first time mom myself I am in the middle of experiencing the tantrum stage with our twins, Cannon & Fallon. The "terrible twos" started around 18-mos…the constant whining, fighting with one another, meltdowns over the littlest things, etc. Yesterday, after their fun 2-yr bday party at our house (and post nap) Fallon had the mother of all mother tantrums…I mean a full on 'someone call in a priest for an exorcism here please' fit. To the point she nearly threw up. Marcus & I sat there watching this go down with bewildered looks. I will openly admit I'm lacking in the patience dept. During these fits I start really considering a nicely printed sign reading "$5, OBO" and contemplate propping sign by screaming twin curbside and seeing where that goes. When they are both in full effect then the "2 for 1" deal kicks in. But more rational thoughts snap me back to reality and I know I have to figure this stuff out. Even though the whining and tantrums make me want to stick needles in my eyes. I am having to learn depths of patience I never knew existed. And you know who's teaching me patience? Yep, my kids. Go figure. I am discovering that for us what works is pulling tantrum twin out of whatever situation we are in and finding a "time out" place where they can sit & wear themselves out on their own. I stay close by (sometimes next to them) but I don't look at them nor interact. I wait until they work his/herself down on their own, offer a loving hug for a few minutes & then quietly talk to them about what just happened. I have NO idea if that's what I'm supposed to do to help them thru that while not encouraging that behavior, but that's what I'm doing for now & it seems to work for us. Interested to know how others handle tantrums and hear stories! Do share.
How funny that I dealt with this today! Although my kids were more in the “fighting” mode than tantrum mode. We went to Garden Ridge, and they were fighting from the moment we got there about who got to ride in the cart, push the cart, etc. At one point I was looking at something and as I turned around, I saw my son trying to pull my daughter out of the cart and in the midst of their yelling, the whole cart flipped over as my daughter smacked her head on that concrete floor. She ended up being OK, but of course the screaming and crying had all of Garden Ridge staring at us. Needless to say, I was not exactly in a good mood as we stormed out of the store. (I did still purchase the area rug though I went in for though!) I am sure all our spectators went home to nominate me for mother of the year. Jen, I completely agree that our parents’ generation didn’t deal with things like this much because they never took us out of the house! I am with you though – a glutton for punishment since I take mine everywhere without a second thought!
I don’t have a tantrum of all tantrums stories yet, but I am certain that if any child will have one in our family – it will be Annie. At 18 months, she already throws herself on the ground when you tell her no or take something away from her. And she can put a death grip on anything – it is virtually impossible to get something away from this fiesty child. Fortunately, it hasn’t happened in public yet, but I am not holding my breath.
Are girls more prone to big tantrums than boys?
Hmmm, that’s a good question. I can only speak from my experience and observations. Only one of my girls throws major tantrums. My boys tend to switch off although boys are easier to distract and diffuse. Yes, they have tempers but if you throw a Cars car in front of them, they quickly forget why they are mad. Girls tend to be more dramatic and hold onto their grudge longer.
My son has huge tantrums. Once when I was 8 months pregnant and in public during one of his major tantrums , an older man came up to me and suggested I call super nanny. I wanted to kill him and my son.
OMG – these comments are HILARIOUS! And as a mother of a girl and a boy, yes both have tantrums of all sizes. My nearly f-year-old daughter is a little worse than our 2-year-old son, including a tantrum in the front yard yesterday as neighbors were out walking, cars driving by with the windows open, and not to mention, our house having a huge For Sale sign which attracted further attention. Nothing that a glass of wine at the end of the night doesn’t cure, though. Thanks for sharing all this, and now I know our family is normal :)Katie M
Meant to say “nearly five-year-old daughter” above…Katie M
I too, take my 3, soon to be 4 children with me almost anywhere, but I never abort ship! If it is something I want/need done,it is going to get done whether they cry/behave or not. During many a tantrum, yes my boys have them as much as girls, we stop in the middle of the aisle and wait for it to end, I have gotten a few weird looks, but most people have been there done that and feel your pain! My kids soon realize that I am not giving in or leaving and are them embarrassed that others are watching and it ends quickly although it feels like eternity! And off we go to finish the ….. Many times if they are good at the end of the trip they will get a treat or get to pick out the fruit snacks or whatever and I always tell them what a great trip or outing that was because everyone was happy!!
I have to add my tantrum story to the mix!I had my two sons at the mall a few years ago (ages 2 1/2 and 10 months) and after a morning of going in and out of stores, I decided that we all needed the reward of a cookie after lunch. We walked up to the counter, ordered, and my two year old took off running. Terrified, I made a dash and grabbed him then rushed back over to the cookie counter where I had left baby brother in his stroller. And even though I swore I’d never punish with food… “No cookie for you,” I informed him (we have a never-run-away-from-us parenting rule that he’s aware of). He immediately started screaming, crying, and swinging at me and I had to drag him out of the place (no cookie for me either!). Oddly, as I dragged him, he decided to yell, “You’re NOT MY MOMMY!!!” which completely mortified me. I think it was the meanest thing he could think of. I’m surprised I wasn’t escorted to the police department to answer some questions, but we made it to the car and home in one piece that day. Glad that day is behind me! Thanks for your funny story Jen, and I LOVE that someone left you an ‘attagirl’ note!! Will have to do that for some other frazzled mom one day.