It’s starting to happen. We are officially a month into summer break and they are turning on me. I have been nice, we have had trips to the pool, the movies (in $100 3D no less) ice cream outings and play dates. I am freaking exhausted. Who do these kids think I am; a camp counselor? I am 40 not 19. I will not sing chants as we walk into the gym. I won’t put a Band-Aid on every microscopic wound and I will tell you to “suck it up” when you say it’s hot and you are tired.
Why can’t they just entertain themselves? We used to ride our bikes with friends from breakfast until dinner. Our moms yelled at us if we showed our face inside. My kids want me to “play” with them. What is that? Can we play “folding laundry” or “plucking mommy’s eyebrows”? How about playing “lets pay bills” or “make the Daddy dinner” No, they want me to make play dough and do science experiments using all my good kitchen pots. Nope, not happening.
Can someone just drop off a twelve year old to entertain them please? I will feed them, say nice things and even give them life lessons on why getting good grades in school is key. They will leave with the best birth control in the world, seeing my three year old throw an all out tantrum, naked on the floor, because I put her juice in the wrong cup. She will not leave wanting to end up on MTV’s “16 and pregnant”.
We are at war people. We cannot let them win. Hang tough. Maybe we should just trade kids for the rest of the summer. Surely, yours can’t be as annoying as mine? Yours are so cute and well behaved; they eat their vegetables and don’t roll their eyes at me when I walk by.
I know it doesn’t last forever. Way too many grandmothers stop me in the grocery store and tell me how lucky I am and it goes by so fast. Blah, blah blah, well get your butt over here Granny and help me if you miss it so much. I bet you won’t be so nostalgic when you leave. You wouldn’t last 2 hours with them.
Have to run, they were practicing their You Tube dance début and World War III just broke out upstairs.
Good luck to you. Won’t be too long before Target starts putting out school supplies then you will know we are in the home stretch.