Road trips. You know what they are. Your parents used to throw you in the back of the wood paneled wagon (no carseats, no seat belts) and you would set off on some long journey. We had no movies, no Nintendo DSI’s, no Color Wonder Pads. You had windows to look out, trees to count, billboards to spy. That was it. My mom’s 70’s Volkswagen Rabbit didn’t even have a radio let alone air conditioning when we drove from Arizona to Pennsylvania one summer.
As I shoved my two kids in the car at 4:30am to make the 10-hour drive to Sarasota, Florida I thought about how completely spoiled they were. TV rigged with movies & headsets, video games to play and even climate control. We left at 4:30am (not my idea. My husband even thought it would be a good idea to not have the kids pee before we got in the car. He said that would “wake them up more” I promptly laughed in his face like any mother would.) This is just a sample of the dialogue that happened:
Kids: “I am so excited to go mommy!”
Me: “Me too sweetie, just go back to sleep.”
Kids: “Mommy I am hungry!”
Me: “Aww kids, no food til the sun comes up!”
Kids: “But mommy, I am so hungry I can’t take it!”
Kids: “We want to watch a movie.”
Me: “No, no movies til the sun comes up.”
Kids: “Mommy, my stomach hurts so much I might die.”
Me: “Just pass some gas, you will be fine.”
Kids: “No mommy, it hurts so much I am going to explode.”
Me: “Well, WOW, that would make quite a mess, let’s not do that!”
Loud inappropriate noise, then “much better”.
Kids: “Mommy, can we eat breakfast and watch a movie?”
Kids: “I am hungry, and thirsty, are we there yet? ”
Me: “Here, have a piece of candy and be quiet. Fritz, you made sure to pack a lot of wine, right? OK, then I will survive. Can I have some now?”
Fritz: “NO, that would make you a loser.”
Me: “Too late.”
Well, we made it there and back without killing each other, barely. And why is the way back so much longer? They still have airplanes right? I am taking one of those things next time.
Have the smarty awards already begun? Where can I vote?
AWESOME!!! Laughed so hard! You are the best. We did 12 hours with three kids under the age of 6 over Christmas. At one point, me and all of the kids were crying at the same time!
My blood pressure went up and pulse quickened reading this. This conversation occurs verbatim in Team Bowman’s car on road trips! When I was 12, my sister, best friend and parents drove from Easley, SC to Daytona Beach, FL…8 hours in a FORD FREAKIN’ ESCORT. Kids these days have gone soft and it’s all our fault! (insert our parents’ stories about walking a mile to school in the snow…)
Love it!!! Kids are going soft….I had to sit on a freakin’ cooler from Ohio to Myrtle Beach from the time I was 2 until about the age of 13!
Is that Michele Hochstrasser?!
I love this article. The long trips are all about survival – whatever it takes. We have done 6 airplane trips of 16 hours or more with our son who is 3.5 and the best way to get through it is knowing that it is not permanent and will eventually be over (oh and wine helps!).
Thanks Monica. I like to think every long road trip is like going to war. You must prepare for battle. I do not envy your being trapped in a metal tube 30,000 feet up for that long with a time bomb ( Oh I mean toddler). And yes wine helps almost everything.
So glad to see another family partaking in the (seems to be lost) family tradition of long family road trips! I have so many family memories of our road trips to visit grandparents in Michigan and hope my kids will have memories of our trips to Florida. And yes, kids have it so easy these days! 🙂
Dang you are a regular! I love this…read to Jeff. The visual are great!
So glad to read others have the same trips as us! How did our parents survive without DVDs?!
The roadtrip to Sarasota is easy compared to the 15+ hours to New England. I swore after last summer I’ll never go anyway except by plane again. Of course I also said that 2 years ago…..
So I’ve read this right on your soup email? So I don’t feel as bad…must have missed this post when I was out of town. You must alert me anytime you post please 🙂 Of course it made me laugh and make a mental note to never drive to Disney World with my two. Love your voice on this site 🙂 Love the pics…that sunset one is beauty! And it’s so true, what’s wrong with us? Why are our kids so spoiled with such goodies and “screen time” things. I (and my 3 bros) never had such on long drives to the beach.