By Guest Blogger, Lisa Kuszmar:
It is summer in Charlotte, and everyone around me is having a baby. As the mother of a five -month-old, I can now sit back and laugh because I know what the next two months are going to be like for these families.
Is it nice of me to laugh? Not really, but I’ve earned the right. I’ve made this rite of passage. It’s one all new mothers go through; it makes us part of the same club. I like to call this phase of parenthood Groundhog Day. Why, you ask?
Because it’s very much like the 1993 movie Groundhog Day. You know the one where Bill Murray’s character is stranded by a blizzard in Punxsutawney, PA? He is miserable and continues to live February 2nd over and over again. As a new mom, you may feel a little bit like this. It’s an unforgiving, time consuming and exhausting loop you live in for weeks on end. People don’t often tell you that, but it is. My mom told me it was going to happen, so I was prepared.
My mom was even sweet enough to call me every couple of days to check in on me. This is how our phone call typically went: Ring… ring…
“Hi Lisa! It’s your mom. Are you feeding, pumping, changing, cleaning or sleeping?”
Then I would answer which one of those five exciting things I was doing. Let me break it down for you:
– A new born baby eats 8 times a day. Each feeding takes around 45 minutes. That is 6 hours of your day. Seriously.
– A new born baby probably goes through 10 diapers a day. We’ll give that 1 hour.
– If you nurse, you probably will try to pump too, so you have some in reserve and can make your partner get up at 3 am and feed the baby. Give that two – 20 minute sessions or 40 minutes a day.
– You have to clean your pumping equipment each time. Twenty more minutes.
– Babies tend to leak. Let’s toss in a load of laundry each day for good measure.
– And you really should try to sleep at least 6 hours a day.
Now rinse and repeat….. for 8 weeks. Let’s just say it gets tedious and can make you a little crazy. But the beauty of it is that it does eventually become February 3rd and you look back and realize you survived the first 8 weeks! You have a little creature who is starting to smile and coo and you have bonded over the two crazy months together. It’s like joining a sorority. You get hazed a bit, but your bond is unbreakable because of what you went through together.
Today, I sip a glass of wine at 7:00 pm on my back deck while my angel daughter is asleep in her crib, where she will be for the next eleven hours. This is a relatively new phenomenon, but one I am enjoying thoroughly. I am no longer stuck in that loop; each day is unique and I love it.
I always heard how hard a newborn is… what no one tells you is that a newborn is cake compared to a 3 year old (at least in my opinion!)
Looking forward to doing all of this times two in a few weeks! Lisa, come over and help, okay?! Love your posts . . . you are the best!
Krista, you are in for a real treat with twins…I'm SO excited for you all! And I seriously do want to hear how you juggle twin newborns with a 4-yr-old….I'm tired just thinking about that dynamic. I agree with first Smarty too, as hard as those first few months with newborn twins my real challenge came when they hit 18-mos thru the age of 2 (3 has actually been TONS better than 2 was)…toddlers test every ounce of sanity & patience imaginable, and it's SO hard in a different way that not many prepare you for! But, hey, we all survive it. Blessings to all our newborn Smarties out there!
I have a 6 week old and 20 month old and am definitely feeling like it's Ground Hog Day in my world! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone and reminding me that things will get better!
I think it's only as bad as you want it to be! I have twins and felt so lucky just to have them that it didn't really matter much to me. While I do admit the first 3 months were a blur….just remember to laugh and not to get too worked up!
Great post. I have a son that is 5 1/2 yrs old and boy/girl twins that just turned 12 months old. The past year has been the hardest year of my life, but my husband and I thankfully survived it. I thought 1 baby was hard, I had no clue what I was in for with twins. Best advice I reveived was to keep the twins on the same schedule and keep the older child busy. The twins are now easy, it's my 5 1/2yr old that is the handful! Best wishes to all new/expecting mothers. : )
Cute post, love it! My oldest two had just turned 4 and 3 years old when we had our twin boys, now those first weeks were definitely a blur!! I agree each age has different trials and tribulaitons, but you just take it as it comes. To me raising our four kids is alot of work, but oh so much fun, I would not have it any other way!! It got alot easier to me once the twins were 3 months old and then even easier at 6 months. My kids all had colic, so I could not wait for them to get past that and sleep through for 6 hours. Good luck to all the new mommies out there, my oldest will be 9 this Friday and I can remember her being a baby just like yesterday, goes by too fast!
My oldest of four will be 11 in July and my youngest is 7 months old. She has been our easiest baby b/c I have plenty of helping hands and everyone is potty trained and able to feed themselves. Having them 3-4 years apart is really great. We're at the most difficult part of parenting now as we guide our pre-teen to make good life decisions especially with the culture and all the junk out there to watch and listen to….makes the baby years seem so easy.
Love this post, Lisa! I'm forwarding it on to friends in the middle of the newborn stage. I agree with the others, you are exhausted from all the new baby work, but at least they can't insult you or ignore you. And yes, even with all that, each day with them is a gift.
I have 3 children ages 4 and under, and just looking at a newborn makes me tired! I felt like my "groundhog days" were in the 3's. Enjoy the honeymoon stage with your 5-month old!
Love this post. This is exactly what experienced Moms are thinking when they see you are pregnant and they ask, "is this your first?" Seriously, they are thinking this poor girl has no idea of the craziness of the next 8 weeks. Glad you have survived with your sense of humor still intact. Sue T.