Why New Year’s is the Worst . . .

Every year, without fail, I start questioning my awesomeness on New Year’s Eve.

Why am I not wearing a full length gown and sipping champagne?

Why didn’t I get invited to that party?

How come my husband doesn’t own a tux?

Should I be watching fireworks or is that just on the Fourth of July?

What stupid resolutions will I ignore this year?

Why am I on the couch and not in a limo?

What the hell year is it again??

What crap did I promise to accomplish and why didn’t I?

I put pressure on myself on NYE. I feel like I should have fabulous plans, with fabulous people while dressed in fabulous shoes. I feel like I should eat lobster and sip bubbly. It’s like for one night every year I think I should act like a Real Housewife of Name your City.

Truth {and keep this private because I can’t admit how uncool I’ve become} . . .

I don’t want to do any of these things.

I want to sit in my pajamas (the ones with the holes in them) and drink my average priced wine while watching Ryan Seacrest make an a-hole of himself. I want to eat a taco . . . or something with salsa. I want to skip the ball dropping because, let’s face it, that just sucks.

Yet, the need for me to end the year with a bang is strong. You see, throughout the year I never do anything cool. Well, not never. Occasionally I have something great on my calendar, but never . . . and I repeat NEVER on NYE. Sitters are pricey, restaurants are exhausted and serving leftover anything and basically everyone just wants to go home and take off their heels.

So, I’m just not putting mine on.

I will however, stalk your Facebook page and LIKE your posts and be jealous for a moment. But, that will pass and I will dip a chip in salsa and promise 2015 will be my jam. I’ll “ring in the New Year” well before midnight because my kids don’t give a crap that I stayed up drinking to watch a ball on TV. They’re going to want pancakes and Disney Channel at 6am and that is the ugly truth of my year ahead. I’m still going to be a mom doing the same thing each and everyday. And that’s cool.

So, tonight I’ll hang with my husband who really hates crowds anyway and thinks resolutions are nonsense because if you want to do something profound, you should just do it. I’ll drink red wine because that is my champagne. I’ll be happy. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll step outside for some fireworks and realize that goes down in July.

And then, I’ll go to sleep and kiss the one person I want to in the New Year. Which is probably what everyone is looking for anyway, a person to love and a comfy year ahead.