The park is broken and Monkey Joe is sleeping …

I’m a liar. I lie to my children at least half a dozen times a day.

Go ahead and judge me. Go ahead and write mean things about me. Go ahead and point your finger. And then tell your children sit on Santa’s lap and leave him cookies. Catch my drift?

Point is, lying is an essential part of parenting. You know it, I know it and the best part is, the children don’t know it. Yet. They will catch on eventually and that is when the toughest part of parenting comes into play. The time when the truth is unavoidable.

Here is a frequent list of lies I tell my children:

1) Monkey Joe is sleeping. (If he is sleeping, he can’t be visited and I can’t drop $50 for video games and sugar coated fun.)

2) The park is closed. (Sometimes I just don’t want to go.)

3) We are out of Apple Juice. (My children would drown in Apple Juice if I let them.)

4) We are running late. (We aren’t, but we will if I don’t tell them we are.)

5) That is juice for mommy. (It is fermented juice.)

6) We are almost there. (No, we aren’t even close.)

7) I never did that when I was your age. (I did much worse.)

8) Your frogs are in heaven. (I seriously have no clue about the policy on frogs in heaven.)

9) Harris Teeter was out of treats. (No, they weren’t.)

10) I don’t have any money. (I do, I just don’t have any money for that snack you don’t even need.)

Pinocchio parenting? Fine, call it whatever you want. Often I just don’t have the strength to deal with three children who debate and fight everything. Sometimes the truth hurts. So, I just opt not to tell it.

Oh, I almost forgot my favorite white lie …

“This will hurt me more than it will hurt you.” (Probably not. Kids in timeout are typically quiet.)