Last night my son peed on me. My three-year-old son. And he did it on purpose. I don’t know why it came as such a surprise, I mean, one of his signature lines is “I’m gonna pee on you!” followed by a noise he makes that’s reminiscent of urine hitting the water in the bowl. So I shouldn’t have been caught off guard by his move, but I was. And you know what? I didn’t get mad. I actually laughed because it was funny. Let me explain.
Boy #1 was in the tub and I was trying to wash his hair when I felt something warm seeping through my yoga pants. He’s a big spasher, so at first I assumed it was water, but when I looked closer, I saw that for once his aim was dead on target: my leg. I screamed, my husband (who was in the bathroom with us holding boy #2, our six-month-old) screamed, and boy #1 laughed. Then my hubby was yelling something, but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I pushed boy #1 away and his stream went into the tub. I thought to myself, “Is this right? No!” so I moved him back so he was peeing on me again, but then my hubby said, “NO – get it in the tub!” Of course, washing the pee down the drain is far less disgusting than having the pee on me. I don’t know what I was thinking. You have to understand – this 30 second moment seemed to last for an eternity, I mean, true. slow. motion.
I debated on whether or not to write about this on Facebook, but I did. I was afraid of the parents that would turn their cyber noses up at my lack of disciplining boy #1 for this lewd act, but after a good night’s sleep I wasn’t worried about anyone else’s opinion. So I put it out there for the entire world (or at least my FB friends) to see. And you know what? The only comment I got after providing a brief explanation was this: “Once again – laid back parents = happy parents.”
This might be why I am a pretty happy mom (of course there are other reasons, but I think this one is a biggie). I don’t sweat the small stuff. Want to eat peanut butter and jelly three meals a day? Fine with me. Want to walk around the house nude while it’s 40 degrees and raining outside? Ok. Don’t want to brush your teeth for the second day in a row? Alright. These little things just aren’t worth the headache to me. Someday I will worry about them, but right now I’m choosing not to; life is crazy enough. We do have a list of non-negotiables in our family as far as rules go, but that’s another story to write about another time.
So as for now, I’ll keep being a laid back parent, but you better believe that if I get peed on again, it won’t be so funny.